I Wish As A Child I Understood That Sometimes Two Houses Are Really Better Than One

I Wish As A Child I Understood That Sometimes Two Houses Are Really Better Than One

A broken home isn't always a bad thing.

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I can't sit here and pretend to know anything about marriage. I've heard that "marriage isn't easy; it requires a lot of give and take." I can, however, tell you about divorce. Growing up you never think that your parents will fall out of love. How could they? And while you may always be too young to understand the ins and outs of your parent's relationship, divorce affects more than just the people married. Researcher Judith Wallerstein proved in her well-known study on divorce that an unhappy marriage is better than no marriage for children. Not only are kids oblivious to the flaws in the marriage, but no marriage at all can have negative long-term effects on the children, especially in future relationships. However, a limitation of this experiment was that Wallerstein did not study high-conflict marriage, where divorce is not a problem that needs to be fixed; it's a solution.

Parents often tell their children that "mommy and daddy don't love each other anymore," even if there are other reasons for splitting up. Divorce is difficult for children to understand so this is the line that is fed most often to them. Therefore, the one concept children struggle with the most is how could parents fall out of love? To answer this question we have to define love. The internet defines love as "an intense feeling of deep affection," but I think TIME is more accurate with their article titled "We Are Defining Love The Wrong Way," in which Rabbi David Wolpe states that Too many women have told me, bruises visible on their faces, that the husbands who struck them love them.

Since they see love as a feeling, the word hides the truth, which is that you do not love someone whom you repeatedly beat and abuse. You may have very strong feelings about them, you may even believe you cannot live without them, but you do not love them. When I was growing up my mom always told me that it was her job to teach me to distinguish between "a man who flatters me and a man who compliments me; a man who spends money on me and a man who invests in me; a man who lusts after me and a man who loves me." I never realized how important it is to be able to distinguish between lust and love. These two words are so different, but society uses them interchangeably.

So how should love be defined then? I believe that 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 says it best: "Love is patient and kind. It does not envy. It does not boast. It is not proud. It does not dishonor others. It is not self-seeking. It is not easily angered. It keeps no record of wrong. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with truth. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. Love never fails."

So now try to put your spouse or significant others name as a substitute every time those verses refer to love. Can you do so without laughing? If not, then your relationship might be based more on lust than love. This doesn't mean that it will never have a firm foundation of love; it just means that it will take time to build this kind of sturdy foundation. The problem is not divorce; the problem is the lack of willingness to foster the type of love a marriage requires. The biggest misconception about divorce is that it causes a home to be broken when in reality the home was broken, to begin with. Divorce allows there to be two strong support systems that are much healthier than one dysfunctional family unit. Coming from a divorced family, this is something I wish I understood as a child.

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8 Reasons Why My Dad Is the Most Important Man In My Life

Forever my number one guy.
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Growing up, there's been one consistent man I can always count on, my father. In any aspect of my life, my dad has always been there, showing me unconditional love and respect every day. No matter what, I know that my dad will always be the most important man in my life for many reasons.

1. He has always been there.

Literally. From the day I was born until today, I have never not been able to count on my dad to be there for me, uplift me and be the best dad he can be.

2. He learned to adapt and suffer through girly trends to make me happy.

I'm sure when my dad was younger and pictured his future, he didn't think about the Barbie pretend pageants, dressing up as a princess, perfecting my pigtails and enduring other countless girly events. My dad never turned me down when I wanted to play a game, no matter what and was always willing to help me pick out cute outfits and do my hair before preschool.

3. He sends the cutest texts.

Random text messages since I have gotten my own cell phone have always come my way from my dad. Those randoms "I love you so much" and "I am so proud of you" never fail to make me smile, and I can always count on my dad for an adorable text message when I'm feeling down.

4. He taught me how to be brave.

When I needed to learn how to swim, he threw me in the pool. When I needed to learn how to ride a bike, he went alongside me and made sure I didn't fall too badly. When I needed to learn how to drive, he was there next to me, making sure I didn't crash.

5. He encourages me to best the best I can be.

My dad sees the best in me, no matter how much I fail. He's always there to support me and turn my failures into successes. He can sit on the phone with me for hours, talking future career stuff and listening to me lay out my future plans and goals. He wants the absolute best for me, and no is never an option, he is always willing to do whatever it takes to get me where I need to be.

6. He gets sentimental way too often, but it's cute.

Whether you're sitting down at the kitchen table, reminiscing about your childhood, or that one song comes on that your dad insists you will dance to together on your wedding day, your dad's emotions often come out in the cutest possible way, forever reminding you how loved you are.


7. He supports you, emotionally and financially.

Need to vent about a guy in your life that isn't treating you well? My dad is there. Need some extra cash to help fund spring break? He's there for that, too.

8. He shows me how I should be treated.

Yes, my dad treats me like a princess, and I don't expect every guy I meet to wait on me hand and foot, but I do expect respect, and that's exactly what my dad showed I deserve. From the way he loves, admires, and respects me, he shows me that there are guys out there who will one day come along and treat me like that. My dad always advises me to not put up with less than I deserve and assures me that the right guy will come along one day.

For these reasons and more, my dad will forever be my No. 1 man. I love you!

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A Thank You Letter To My Dad Whose Love Is Unconditional

I love my mother to death but trust me on this one...I am just like my daddy.

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Dear Daddio,

Without you, I would not have the common sense to do half the things that I know how to do. I would not know how to change a tire or even check the fluids in my car. But shoot, why do it myself when I can just ask you to do it for me? You may say no, but you come and do it anyways. Thank you for always being there.

I can count on you to help me with anything. Even on your off days, you are not really actually off. I ask you to help me all the time with the craziest projects. You do not even question it, you just help. I love that about you, dad. You always help everyone you can without a question. You are the type of man who would give your last dollar.

I also love how you come up with the craziest things to do. You get into these moods and you just do something crazy and go for it. When it is beautiful outside, we just sit and talk about anything that comes to mind. It is one of my favorite things to do with you. Thank you for always being there.

Momma always says how I am just like you. We always say the craziest things and joke all the time. Not to mention, we both cannot hear worth a crap. Whenever mom is trying to talk to us, she gets mad because we can not hear anything. Our TV's are always at max. volume. It is a real struggle, huh? We both love everything chocolate. You know I always share my dessert with you...even if I do not want to. I know you would do the same for me.

You are the calmest person I know. Even if the most stressful situations, you are so calm, cool, and collected. I wish I was more like you when it comes to that. I always tell you the things I want to do and no matter what, you say the same thing every time. You tell me how proud of me you are and you tell me to do whatever makes me happy. Thank you, daddy, for always being so supportive in all walks of my life.

You are by the far the most hardworking man that I know. Like I said before, even when you are off, you are not really off. You always stay working. Whether it is cleaning around the house or working in your garden, you never sit still. You say that you can not wait to retire, but I do not see you taking off. Thank you for showing me how to be a hard worker and how to provide for my future family. Without you, I would not have half the things I have in my life.

Thank you pops for this life that I live. I would not be where I am without your love and support. Thank you for all the help around the house and all my car troubles. I know that I can tell you anything without any judgment. I am sure whatever I say, you will support me.

I love you to the moon, daddio.

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