When I introduce myself to anyone and explain I have a twin brother the response is usually along the lines of "that's so cool" where I always respond with "Noooo we don't get along at all, we're totally different people" and up until this past month that has been completely true.
There has not been separation between my brother and I's lives until college other than me spending a week away at camp each summer. He switched into my kindergarten class, joined my team of teachers in fifth grade and ended up sharing all of the same friends in high school. I truly believe that the constant interaction we had with each other is the reason for us having such a hard time forming a relationship.
I promised myself we would NOT be going to college together this year. There are definitely pros and cons to being a twin, but it came to a point where each other's presence was suffocating and screaming matches in public were the norm. In the end we only ended up only mutually applying to one school, ironically enough my essay for that school discussed the differences between my brother and I. Luckily, in the end I chose Villanova University and he chose the University of Tampa- we weren't just going to be apart... we were going to be far apart.
We barely hugged goodbye when I sent him on a plane to Tampa, as we'd fought the entire seven hours to Philadelphia from our house. However, I didn't expect any different even if it upset our parents.
Imagine my surprise after running into a friend from home on campus who told me my brother had texted him asking how I was doing and for him to look out for me... the same brother who trashed my room when I wouldn't give him my car keys and tattled to my parents as blackmail for not doing his math homework for him. More shocking, when he texted me a week later trusting me with information about him getting in trouble at school. I still get a little surprised every time his texts pop up on my phone, yet we text regularly now.
Coming home for thanksgiving break I was positive things would go back to the way they were before we left for school, Connor would tease me and I'd get upset which would eventually turn into yelling and then one of us getting in trouble with our parents. However, we didn't fight once the whole few days. I'm sure reading this you doubt our relationship was as bad as I describe it to be but quite honestly everyone we saw throughout the week, who saw that we were getting along, expressed shock in us learning to get along too. Connor and I's arguments were a staple of every friend group get together, one that was missing this time around. I helped Connor when he came home too late and he helped convince my mom to pay for my coffees.
I definitely wish we could have gotten along this way all through high school, it definitely would have made our lives easier as well as our parents. However, I am happy to finally have a relationship with my brother. Turns out all we needed was to not be so involved in each other's lives.