All I did was change my Facebook profile picture to one of just me, and I had messages in my inbox. I switched my relationship status to single, and in came more messages. I changed my Instagram name, removed “married” from my bio, and 10 new men were requesting to follow me and, as the kids say these days, sliding into my DM’s. I had boys from my past coming out of the woodworks, professing their love for me. It was disgusting.

Why? Why are men like that? Actually, let me rephrase that. Why are boys like that? Men wouldn’t do that. Men wouldn’t pounce as soon as the saw a newly single woman. Men would let her take her time. Men would admire from a far, not in her inbox less than 24 hours later. Men would be respectful.

But maybe that’s part of the issue. “Men” is a dying breed. There are very few “men” out there anymore. These boys think it’s acceptable to treat women like we’re a prize to be won. These boys think it’s acceptable to see a broken girl and jump in, look like a superhero in the night, then go back to their day job in the morning. It’s not okay and it needs to stop.

However, at the same time, us as women need to know our worth. There are so many women walking around thinking they need to be pampered and taken care of, just because they have boobs. Hate to break it to you, sweetie, but that’s not how life works. You walk around like that, of course men are going to look at you like you’re an inanimate object to be had. Because that’s how you’re acting.

It’s a delicate balance, relationships. A lot of give and take, a lot of understanding, a lot of forgiveness. And when you end a relationship, it takes a lot of time, a lot of understanding, a lot of forgiveness. You find out a lot about the people around you and from your past when you end a relationship. It’s like they get this newfound confidence when someone is newly single and they’re like, “Let’s just let it all out there since she’s free!” But that’s not the way to go about it. Don’t bombard her with DM’s and Snapchats of your little friend from down under.

But for the love of all that is good in this world, don’t profess your love to her, don’t try to be her knight in shining armor. DO NOT ASK IF SHE IS DTF!

Let her be! Let her have a break, let her have time, let her be angry, let her cope, let her find herself again. If you truly want to be a part of her life, be a friend. Be a shoulder for her to lean on, be a confidant, be a safe haven. Let her cry to you, let her vent to you, let her laugh with you. If you’re lucky, she might just fall in love with you.