Why is it that we’ve become so mean with our words? It seems that tearing others down, jokingly or not, has become our way of discussion.

I’ve recently decided to make some changes in my life, for the good of myself and the people around me. Surprisingly, the response from some “close friends” has been nothing but discouragement, whether it be on purpose or not.

One of the changes I've decided to make is eating better and getting back into shape. I've never been a “good” runner and I hate vegetables, so this decision didn't come that easy. So, I began trying to eat more fruits and veggies and avoiding desserts and processed foods. One night, I was eating dinner with a couple of my friends. I decided to have half of a brownie, seeing as how I was doing so well and just because I wanted the brownie. A friend jokingly interrupted and said, “Is that your fourth or fifth?” I just laughed it off; however, the comment was so unnecessary and ruined my mood for the rest of the night. I started eating things in order to impress people rather than for the nutrition and benefit for my body, and this was not what I wanted when I decided to make the change. Over the next couple of weeks I had done very well. A group of friends and I went out for lunch. I ordered grilled chicken, a sweet potato and asparagus (the only vegetable I can tolerate). A couple of the people I was with just had to make a scene about the fact that I was eating a healthy lunch. “Wow, look at Ms. Healthy over here. Are you sure you don't want the bacon cheese fries?” The response of negativity to the positive life changes I have decided to endure is such a discouragement.

I feel as if people see you in one of two ways: skinny and fit, or fat and lazy. That's just not how it is. I’ve never been a “really skinny” girl or an extremely athletic person. I play basketball almost every day because it’s something I enjoy doing. I will take part in any kind of sporting event or physical activity I’m asked to. I’m not lazy. I just don't have the metabolism to eat whatever I want and not have to worry about it. Unfortunately, I haven't really paid much attention to that until lately. It’s a slow process, and even if I don't look or seem like the typical healthy eater or gym rat, I’m working on myself and the criticism and hurtful jokes aren't necessary.

To the discouragers, words hurt. Even if you aren't trying to be rude or hurtful, being negative to be funny or get a laugh out of the group can cause damage and insecurity without you even realizing it. Think before you put someone down, no matter the reason behind it. Just because someone is laughing with you, doesn't make laughing at them okay.

And to the ones enduring discouragement in life changes, ways of thinking or life in general, keep doing you. No one is going to understand you completely, and that's OK. Do it for yourself, not to prove anything to the ones around you.