This Is The Dirty Truth About Hookup Culture

This Is The Dirty Truth About Hookup Culture

Why do we look for validation in places other than ourselves?
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"Lana," my best friend texts me at three in the morning. "We don't need men."

I have three plays to read, not enough hours left in the night, and a heavy heart weighing me down because the boy I never meant to fall for didn't fall for me back.

Deep down, I know she's right.

But that doesn't change the fact that a night of rejection will send me flying into the wrong arms, in hopes that I will feel better, even for a second—or at least be distracted enough so that I don't feel at all.

I don’t know why we look for validation in places other than ourselves. Why do we expect that half-love, that twenty-minute love, that drunken, see-each-other-from-across-the-room-and-struggle-to-remember-each-other’s-name-the-next-morning love to satisfy the void in ourselves that can ultimately only be filled by ourselves? By self-love.

Is it because it makes us feel better when they whisper sweet nothings in our ears as we try to pry off the rejection from the could-be-love-of-our-lives that paints a film of shame over our skin?

Is it because we failed that test, and our parents, and we’re failing ourselves and we need something to numb the overwhelmingness of it all?

Is it because we need the distraction? Because we know that if we stay alone in the silence of the night, every insecurity and regret and fear will come crawling out of the darkest corners of our minds?

Is it because we don’t want to be alone? Because we like to lie to ourselves and believe that the presence of the wrong person will make it all okay?

Is it because we want to be wanted?

So many college students can do the hookup thing simply because they want to. But for me, there is always sadness and immense heartbreak and so many ground-shaking realities I never wish to face buried deep inside of me whenever I exchange names with a stranger, pretending that it even matters.

So why do we do it? Why do I do it?

Because I will drive myself crazy wondering why he didn't text me back. Because one bad moment on a Saturday night will inevitably spiral into me staring at my bedroom ceiling for hours thinking about every regret I ever made, every person who ever left me, every mistake I ever made. And because it's all-too scary and all-too much for me to face.

Because it is never the right way to handle things, but it is always the easy way out.

Cover Image Credit: Pexels

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Why Girls Love The Dad Bod

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In case you haven't noticed lately, girls are all about that dad bod. Girls have been dealing with body image issues since the beginning of time until recent (for those of you who consider yourselves to be "Thick thin") I hadn't heard about this body type until my roommate mentioned it. She used to be crazy over guys she claimed had the dad bod. After observing the guys she found attractive, I came to understand this body type well and was able to identify it. The dad bod is a nice balance between a beer gut and working out. The dad bod says, "I go to the gym occasionally, but I also drink heavily on the weekends and enjoy eating eight slices of pizza at a time." It's not an overweight guy, but it isn't one with washboard abs, either.

The dad bod is a new trend and fraternity boys everywhere seem to be rejoicing. Turns out skipping the gym for a few brews last Thursday after class turned out to be in their favor. While we all love a sculpted guy, there is just something about the dad bod that makes boys seem more human, natural, and attractive. Here are a few reasons that girls are crazy about the dad bod.

It doesn't intimidate us.
Few things are worse than taking a picture in a bathing suit, one being taking a picture in a bathing suit with a guy who is crazy fit. We don't want a guy that makes us feel insecure about our body. We are insecure enough as it is. We don't need a perfectly sculpted guy standing next to us to make us feel worse.

SEE ALSO: Slim Thick Is The New Thin

We like being the pretty one.

We love people saying "they look cute together." But we still like being the center of attention. We want to look skinny and the bigger the guy, the smaller we feel and the better we look next to you in a picture.

Better cuddling.
No one wants to cuddle with a rock. Or Edward Cullen. The end.

Good eats.
The dad bod says he doesn't meal prep every Sunday night so if you want to go to Taco Tuesday or $4 pitcher Wednesday, he'd be totally down. He's not scared of a cheat meal because he eats just about anything and everything.

You know what you're getting.
Girls tend to picture their future together with their guys early on. Therefore, if he already has the dad bod going on, we can get used to it before we date him, marry him, have three kids. We know what we are getting into when he's got the same exact body type at the age of 22 that he's going to have at 45.


So there you go. A simple break down of why girls everywhere are going nuts over this body type on males. We like it. We love it. We want some more of it. So here's to you dad bods, keep it up. Men, confidently strut that gut on the beach because while you stare at us in our bikinis we will be staring just as hard.

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9 Questions You Should Never Ask Someone In A Long Distance Relationship

"Aren't you afraid they'll cheat on you?"

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When you're in a long distance relationship, everyone will always have a million and one questions- usually a million more than if you were in a relationship that didn't have any distance at all. As I've been in a long distance relationship for almost 2 years now, I've learned that some questions will get asked more than once and some will be equally annoying every time you're asked said question(s). Here are x questions you shouldn't ask someone in a long distance relationship.

1. "Aren't you afraid they'll cheat on you?"

I mean, even if we lived right down the road from each other, he could very well cheat on me then. In my opinion, distance has nothing to do with it. Our relationship (and most long distance relationships) are heavily built on trust. So, no, I'm not afraid.

2. "Why don't you date someone who is close to you?"

Because it just didn't work out like that. I didn't exactly choose to date someone who lived in a different country, but that's how it turned out and although it isn't easy, we've made it work.

3. "You know a long distance relationship isn't a real relationship, right?"

How so? Are you saying it isn't a "real relationship" because we don't live right next door to each other? It's still a very real relationship whether we're living in the same house or we're 1,000 miles away.

4. "How are you able to be in a relationship who you only see from time to time?"

Exactly how you think we would. We talk every single day, mostly through text and have the occasional phone call or video chat. Is it easy? No. But is it worth it? Of course it is.

5. "How do you know he just isn't trying to move to the U.S?"

I don't think I have to worry about that.

6. "How does intimacy work?"

I'll let you think about that one.

7. "What do you do for sex? How do you deal with that?"

Well, that's a little invasive, don't you think?

8. "Oh... so a long distance relationship is like an open relationship?"

Nope. A long distance relationship is like a long distance relationship. Sure, some people have open relationships, but not us. Our relationship is just like yours and many others except we don't live close to each other.

9. "Why would you do that to yourself?"

Do what to myself, exactly? To be fair, I didn't choose to do anything to myself. The only thing I really "chose" was to be with someone who lives very far away, but we both knew what we were getting into from the beginning. So, I'm not "doing" anything to myself. We're just making the best out of a difficult situation.

Don't get me wrong, we don't mind that you ask us questions, but sometimes, you really have to think before you speak. Please stop with the invasive questions or trying to invalidate our relationship solely because we live far away from each other. Our relationship is just as valid as yours, I promise.

Cover Image Credit:

Yoann Boyer/Unsplash

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