I've Started To Make Myself Dinner When I Crave Food, And I Am So Proud Of My Progress
Start writing a post
Health and Wellness

I've Started To Make Myself Dinner When I Crave Food, And I Am So Proud Of My Progress

I push through the bad days because I know the next day will be better. I wake up and I move and go out and see friends and make myself dinner and I am happy. And I am so proud of myself.

I've Started To Make Myself Dinner When I Crave Food, And I Am So Proud Of My Progress

Earlier last week, I woke up from a nap craving a grilled cheese sandwich. Specifically, I was craving a grilled spinach and goat cheese sandwich. I have no clue why, but I woke up desperate for this sandwich. So you know what I did? I got up from my bed, slapped on a little lipgloss (because I felt like it), and took a university bus to Walmart and bought everything I needed to make a grilled spinach and goat cheese sandwich.

This does not sound like a big momentous event, and it really wasn't, but in some ways it kind of was. See, last year or even six months ago, if I had woken up from a nap craving a specific sandwich you know what would have happened? I would have stayed put on the couch or the bed, growing hungrier and hungrier at the thought of this sandwich, but I would never have dreamed of getting up and making it. I would have told myself I didn't have the time to go to the store and I had more important things to do. Basically, I'd come up with any excuse not to move.

Does that sound lazy? Oh, you bet. But for ages, I struggled with depression and disordered eating (which I've talked a lot about before), so getting up from a nap to make myself food was pretty much a task straight from hell for me. But last week, I did it. I got up, went to the store, and made myself that sandwich right as I got home.

I know that it doesn't seem like a big deal, but I was so shocked by myself. I mean, just ask my mother: my summer was spent rotating myself from one couch to another to my bed and back again. I was not in a good place, mentally or emotionally. And I've been telling myself that now I am.

I've been saying I feel happier and more energetic; my friends say I look better and happier. But last week I really proved it to myself. I am better. I am happier. I was hungry, so I decided to eat. I wanted a specific meal, so I went out to the store to get what I needed to make it. I ate three grilled spinach and goat cheese sandwiches that night. Three. Whole. Sandwiches. (Now this is a very big deal from someone who was never able to finish more than half of any kind of sandwich for over a year.)

Despite the momentous sandwich day, I still have my bad days. There are still days where I don't want to eat and it takes too long to get out of bed. But those days aren't the norm anymore. They'll come the day after a big project was due or the morning after I went to bed way too late after staying up with friends.

The bad days come, but they no longer stay. And I'll be completely honest with you: I didn't think that was ever going to happen. I thought I was going to be stuck with one bad day after another for the rest of my life, that I would spend the rest of my life moving from one couch to the next and to my bed and back again and completely avoiding the kitchen.

But that's not how it is anymore. I push through the bad days because I know the next day will be better. I wake up and I move and go out and see friends and make myself dinner and I am happy. And I am so proud of myself.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm about to go make myself a few more of those sandwiches.

Report this Content

Every Track On Ariana Grande's 'Positions' Album Ranked

Ariana Grande has achieved major success with her new album and we're ranking every track.


Ariana Grande surprised fans in October, tweeting that her new album was being released. What followed was yet another number one peak on the Billboard 200 albums chart. The album's title track and lead single, "Positions," also hit number one on the Billboard Hot 100 chart.

With "Positions," Grande took a much more light-hearted approach than the confessional nature of its predecessor, "Thank U, Next." It was a welcome and refreshing change of pace. Now that the album has been out for a solid month, it's the perfect time to see how the songs rank.

Keep Reading... Show less

In the four Christmas' that I have spent with my boyfriend, I have realized one thing: boys are hard to shop for. Each year I have to rack my brain for gift ideas because when I ask my boyfriend what he wants for Christmas, he always says something along the lines of "nothing," which as a girl is hard to fathom since I literally give him a list each year before Black Friday.

After hours each year scouring the internet for the perfect Christmas gifts to get my boyfriend, I have come up with a pretty long and inclusive list. To help those girlfriends going through the same thing, I decided to put together some of the best gifts I have come across.

Keep Reading... Show less

It's almost December, which means that it's almost time for the biggest holiday season to arrive! However, it doesn't mean that COVID-19 has decided to disappear. According to the CDC, 147,840 new cases of COVID have been recorded in the last seven days.

States such as Kentucky have closed all of their restaurants, schools, and businesses until December. Some governors have started to advise caution when celebrating the holidays, too. You may be thinking, 'is there any way to really enjoy Christmas during the pandemic?' In fact, there are ways to still celebrate the holiday safely. Here are 10 ways that you can still enjoy the holiday season without canceling any of your plans.

Keep Reading... Show less

The 5 Things We ALL Want For Christmas In Mariah Carey's New Special

The Queen of Christmas is back and bringing festive moments to an all-new special premiering December 4!


Mariah Carey is saving 2020 by bringing an all-new Christmas special to Apple TV+ starting December 4. It will feature guest stars, festive moments, and musical performances. The all-star cast includes Tiffany Haddish, Billy Eichner, and Snoop Dogg. Carey's twins will also make a special appearance.

A festive special is certainly what we all need right now. There are lots of information about the upcoming special that has many fans excited. Here are the five things from the special we're most looking forward to.

Keep Reading... Show less

10 Things You Need From Target If You Want To Take Your Christmas Decor Game To A Whole New Level

No one wants to talk about 2020, but these decor pieces will give everyone something worth talking about.

Photo by Jonathan Borba on Unsplash

It's no secret that for a majority of people, Christmas season is the happiest time of year.

There are people that put their trees up before Halloween even begins and those that calmly wait until Thanksgiving is over. No matter which group you fall in, there's a good chance that this year has been a tough one, so why not treat yourself to a few new pieces that will spark joy in your heart every single time you catch a glimpse of them.

Keep Reading... Show less

How The 'Friends' Theme Song Is Actually Describing 2020 — And It Couldn't BE More Accurate

This isn't our day, our week, our month, and definitely not our year...


Everyone knows the iconic Friends theme song and although we may have joked in previous years how relatable it is, here's a breakdown of the lyrics and how they are so 2020, we might never be able to listen to it again after 2020.

Keep Reading... Show less

Let me just say, first and foremost, happy Thanksgiving! This holiday is known as a time for families to get together, to be thankful for the blessings in our lives, and to dig into a lot of very delicious food that you'll be having as leftovers for the next week. However, this family time is certainly not without downsides, as we are forced to confront certain family members on matters that should best be left out of Thanksgiving discussion, and in my case, this happens to be my father, who is the only republican in our family (that I know of).

(FYI: Since I still live with my dad, it's not just Thanksgiving when I'm forced to listen to him talk about politics, as I had gotten a taste of where he stands just from earlier this year alone.)

Keep Reading... Show less
Peter Truong

If you still have not figured out what you want to cook on Thanksgiving, baked macaroni and cheese is something worth considering. It is simple, affordable, and delicious. I have had many different types of baked mac and cheese and most are dry. I do not like a dry mac and cheese, it just does not seem appealing to me. If you like the creamy cheesy essence of mac and cheese, look no further, this recipe is for you.


Keep Reading... Show less
Facebook Comments