No one really cares if you don't go to the party, why do you

The Diminishing Marginal Utility of  FOMO

No one really cares if you go to the party.

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I am no Economics professor, but I can tell you a thing or two. One of them being, diminishing marginal utility is essentially the principle that once something becomes more prevalent, it also becomes less desirable amongst consumers. In high school, my government and economics teacher told us, "It's like drinking a beer. The first couple might be fantastic, but after a while, you get sick of it. Sometimes, you don't just get sick of the beer. You get physically sick."

Now I can give you the boring google definition that states, "The marginal utility of a good or service declines as its available supply increases." I hope this is making the slightest bit of sense, but if not, bear with me.

FOMO as we all probably already know, is the acronym that was coined with the phrase, "Fear of Missing Out." FOMO has been rampant these last few years amongst millennials, and really anyone with access to social media. You are constantly aware of what everyone is doing, the concerts they're attending, and the parties that you are "missing out" on. Everyone else's lives are at your fingertips, so much so that you forget entirely to live your own.

We have all been there. No matter what the reason is that you can't make it for something, you almost do not want to check Snapchat to see photos and videos of whatever it may be. FOMO has ruined our sense of being present. I cannot count on two hands how many times I have been on the most fabulous trips, and because of my phone, I have felt disconnected from the fun that everyone else on social media seemed to be having. Rather than focusing on where I was and the fun I could be creating, I let my perception of their various social media accounts hold me back.

This is where the diminishing marginal utility has slowly come into play for me, personally.

I have begun to realize that most of those nights that you see on social media that look so fun end up being some of the worst ones. No one takes a picture of themselves being miserable for people to see online. You see the solo cups, hear the loud music, and everyone has a smile on their face. Never mind the fact that most of them are feeling so so empty.

FOMO is temporary, but the regrets you have when you realize you didn't enjoy what was right in front of you will eat you alive.

Some are only posting those stories in hopes that their ex will see it. Some just want to reinforce the idea that they have a social life. I am here to tell you, it is never as fun as it looks.

One party might be fun, but you'll never run out of parties. Just like your first beer tastes best. Not every night is going to be perfect, and not every beer is going to taste as good as that first one did. Make your own fun, and live in the present. You'll be surprised how much you have been missing out on being caught up in the things outside of your control.

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If You've Ever Been Called Overly-Emotional Or Too Sensitive, This Is For You

Despite what they have told you, it's a gift.
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Emotional: a word used often nowadays to insult someone for their sensitivity towards a multitude of things.

If you cry happy tears, you're emotional. If you express (even if it's in a healthy way) that something is bothering you, you're sensitive. If your hormones are in a funk and you just happen to be sad one day, you're emotional AND sensitive.

Let me tell you something that goes against everything people have probably ever told you. Being emotional and being sensitive are very, very good things. It's a gift. Your ability to empathize, sympathize, and sensitize yourself to your own situation and to others' situations is a true gift that many people don't possess, therefore many people do not understand.

Never let someone's negativity toward this gift of yours get you down. We are all guilty of bashing something that is unfamiliar to us: something that is different. But take pride in knowing God granted this special gift to you because He believes you will use it to make a difference someday, somehow.

This gift of yours was meant to be utilized. It would not be a part of you if you were not meant to use it. Because of this gift, you will change someone's life someday. You might be the only person that takes a little extra time to listen to someone's struggle when the rest of the world turns their backs.

In a world where a six-figure income is a significant determinant in the career someone pursues, you might be one of the few who decides to donate your time for no income at all. You might be the first friend someone thinks to call when they get good news, simply because they know you will be happy for them. You might be an incredible mother who takes too much time to nurture and raise beautiful children who will one day change the world.

To feel everything with every single part of your being is a truly wonderful thing. You love harder. You smile bigger. You feel more. What a beautiful thing! Could you imagine being the opposite of these things? Insensitive and emotionless?? Both are unhealthy, both aren't nearly as satisfying, and neither will get you anywhere worth going in life.

Imagine how much richer your life is because you love other's so hard. It might mean more heartache, but the reward is always worth the risk. Imagine how much richer your life is because you are overly appreciative of the beauty a simple sunset brings. Imagine how much richer your life is because you can be moved to tears by the lessons of someone else's story.

Embrace every part of who you are and be just that 100%. There will be people who criticize you for the size of your heart. Feel sorry for them. There are people who are dishonest. There are people who are manipulative. There are people who are downright malicious. And the one thing people say to put you down is "you feel too much." Hmm...

Sounds like more of a compliment to me. Just sayin'.

Cover Image Credit: We Heart It

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I Went From Losing Weight To Lifting Weights, And Now I'm In The Best Shape Of My Life

How a change in my fitness goals changed my life.

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I am in the best shape of my life...or at least I think so, and that's what truly matters.

I look in the mirror and feel confident.

I finally feel comfortable wearing crop tops, and I'm even starting to show visible abs. But getting here has been such a difficult journey filled with eating disorders, body dysmorphia, and other physical and mental struggles that hindered my ability to achieve my goals.

I have been on this health and fitness journey for many, many years now. I've been a size 00, a size 12, and every size in between.

Through it all, I have learned so much about myself, as well as fitness and nutrition in general. My biggest takeaway that led me to overcome all these obstacles was learning to let go of my perfectionism. When I'm old, I don't want to look back on my life and realize that I spent it all trying to lose weight. So, I changed my mindset.

My new focus was to be as strong as possible—to lift the heaviest weights, rather than losing the most weight. If you too, want to be in the best shape of your life but have struggled for so long, read my tips below.

1. EAT MORE

I know, it sounds crazy. As women, we are constantly told about diets and cutting calories. If you just want to be skinny, you can do that. But if you want to be strong, you need to eat to be able to put on the muscle.

2. ALLOW YOURSELF TO HAVE CHEAT MEALS

If you have struggled with eating disorders like me, satisfying your cravings will prevent you from having major setbacks.

3. LIFT WEIGHTS

Get your butt off that elliptical and into the weight room.

4. DON'T WORKOUT EVERY DAY

Again, especially if you want to build muscle, you need rest days. These are the days where your muscles are "actually" growing.

5. DON'T RUSH IT

You will not see abs overnight. It takes a long time. But if you want sustainable results, you must treat your body right.

I hope these tips are helpful. With positivity and patience, you can achieve anything.

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