Clarifying The Difference Between Genderfluid And Nonbinary/Androgynous

Clarifying The Difference Between Genderfluid And Nonbinary/Androgynous

Genderqueer Genders.
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On http://www.dictionary.com I have pulled up definitions of androgynous, genderfluid, & genderqueer.

Androgynous;

"1.being both male and female; hermaphroditic."

2.having both masculine and feminine characteristics.

3.having an ambiguous sexual identity."

4.neither clearly masculine nor clearly feminine in appearance"

Genderfluid;

"1.noting or relating to a person whose gender identity or gender expression is not fixed and shifts over time or depending on the situation."

Genderqueer;

"1.relating to or having a gender identity that is other than male or female, is a combination of the two genders, or is on a continuum between the two genders:

2.questioning one’s gender identity"

You might be wondering as to why I have added genderqueer into the definitions section, though, I will explain as to why I did this in the end of this article.


I felt the need to display all this information before you, in hopes to let you critique your own thoughts on the subject, before I approach you with the logic I applied to the subject. Now let's get into details.

The reason as to why this topic arose in my head is quite random actually. I, myself, consider my gender as nonbinary or andrgynous. I have identified myself as this for the past three months (Seventeen & a half years of age), although I truly 100% believe I have been this gender my whole life. Once I discovered this gender even existed, it was as if a huge boulder had been lifted off my shoulders & I had finally begun to truly understand myself, (I know, very dramatic, but it still remains true to me, nonetheless) however, I have never heard of the word "genderfluid", until today. I met someone, a new friend of mine, who represents him/herself as genderfluid. At first, I was confused & tried convincing her/him it was the same as nonbinary, though, that was not the case & obviously it was just my know-it-all ego acting up & being overwhelmed with confusion & the need to be correct. We didn't get to discuss it much since the bell rang for the next class, so I decided to do my own research so that I will never have to insult a person who is that gender again (Since I know he/she probably felt a huge boulder lift from their shoulders as well when they discovered their true gender). I remained understanding & decided I must do research before I can actually have a debate on the subject, with this mysterious person I had met. I figured I'm not the only person who may be curious of the difference between genderfluid & nonbinary, so here I am, sharing my research with all of you folk!

To begin with, let me tell you a little about my own gender. People who classify themselves as nonbinary or androgyne (Both words are also able to be used as genderqueer) are simply neither male nor female; rather, they are both. Like the so often-heard saying, "It's all or nothing!" Kind of like how white can either be consider colorless; just white, or it can be considered all the colors of the rainbow, since all the colors of the rainbow combined is what makes this "white" appear. So in an essence, we are "white" because we don't fall on a "color spectrum", or rather, a gender spectrum. Androgynous people have equal amounts of characteristics, & mind-processes, of both the male & female gender. Therefore; we don't range higher on the scale towards a specific gender, but rather, we're like floating right in the middle of this imaginary masculine-feminine gender-scale I am trying to build in your imagination. (I say floating because this gender is flexible, & by that I mean you don't necessarily have to change between looking like a guy some days & a girl on other days to be nonbinary) Some nonbinary gender people may dress more feminine on some days & more masculine on others, or perhaps a mix of the two almost daily. Despite this, our personalities, our psychological aspects, stay the same. This is what truly defines androgynous/nonbinary gender the most . We constantly think in both feminine & masculine ideals. We take interest in things that fall highly on a female-gender spectrum & to things that are related more highly to the male-gender side of the spectrum. I suppose to clarify this up more, I shall give an example of myself. I have female genitals, I would be considered a "woman" in societies view. I do occasionally do my nails, hair, make-up, & I tend to giggle a lot, (like so much that almost every person I meet says they never met someone who giggles as much as I do) & these are all characteristics that do fall more towards the female gender. However; may I also add I am pan-sexual, meaning I am able to fall in love with any human, despite your genitals (I love for personality not looks).

The first couple of human-beings I have ever grown attraction towards & did sexual-related things with, were females, despite the fact it is more "normal" to see a young girl writing love notes about a boy-crush in her class, rather than a love letter made for her best friend who is a girl. I have always been a lover of video games & actually have a gaming desktop I built. I don't shave my body hair. I have always loved getting dirty outside (I still do almost daily & my toe nails are almost always unkempt), & when I was in elementary I was actually always called a tomboy for the baggy clothes & dirty appearance I always presented myself with. Oh, & I am a complete nerd for card games involving fictional characters. These are all the things that would likely be associated more with the male than female gender ( A handful of my male & female characteristics). All these characteristics, despite whether I look more boy-ish or more girl-ish that day, stay the same within me. I would assume my personality itself has an equal vibe, or energy, of both femininity & masculinity, considering I am able to get along with each gender very easily. Who I associate with may bring out character traits of a certain gender more than the other, but not on a large enough scale for me to suddenly say I have conversed from a male to female, or vise versa, in that time-being. Now this is where genderfluid comes into place. Most of the information I derived from this gender was given to me by the website I found the most trustworthy, which I will credit in link formation down below. However I did pick up on what little words were exchanged with my friend & I during class, that resignate better with my mind, now that I have done the research. One thing that she/he distinctivly kept trying to push in my stubborn head & that kept repeating were these few words, "I am neither, I switch between male & female". This bombarded my thought process, because in my mind, I (an androgyne person) am also neither, but I don't "switch" between genders. Here is where my research comes into play. Individuals who considers themselves to have a genderfluid gender identity, means at certain times, (biased on solely how they feel) they feel as though they are multiple genders at once, or move between singular gender identities. This feeling of a hard shift of gender in genderfluid people can happen as often as several times a day, perhaps only several times a week, monthly, or even less periodic than that. Some genderfluid people regularly move between only a few specific genders (keep in mind there are way over fifty genders), some as few as two (one of the definitions of the bigender, gender), whereas others may never know what gender they will feel like next. Occasionally, there are people who experience fluid gender & don't use the word "genderfluid" for themselves, simply because they don't even know the word exist! That sounds like quiet a burden to me. To having to constantly go through life feeling like a gender-roller-coaster, though never knowing that that, in itself, is actually a gender! I bet my new friend felt the boulder fall right off when she/he discovered that they weren't crazy for swearing they were a boy at certain times & then a girl in the next, they're just genderfluid! Some people with fluid genders call themselves by other terms such as genderqueer, bigender, multigender, or polygender. This is normally because they don't believe the word, genderfluid, describes their gender well enough. Since fluid-gender can change from either two or more genders, it makes sense that someone who fluctuates between two genders may call themselves bigender, whereas those who fluctuate between more than two, would make more sense to be have a gender label of multigender.


Now, back to that bold note I squeezed in at the top, why did I add the definitions of genderqueer? If you haven't noticed by now; I have stated that nonbinary people may be labeled as genderqueer as well , as can genderfluid people. This may seem contradicting, so let's refer back to the definition.

It says that genderqueer people are either a gender other than male or female, a combination of the two, a flunctuation between the two genders, or a constant state of questioning one's gender identity. The definition of genderqueer is almost like a morphed together definition of genderfluid & nonbinary/androgyne. The genderfluid part being that shift of genders labeled in the second half of the definition, while the nonbinary part is labeled in the first part of the definition when it states that it is a combination of male & female. Also, both genderfluid & nonbinary fall under the first sentence of the definition, which says, "relating to or having a gender identity that is other than male or female..."


In conclusion, these two genders are very similar, yet very different. Both have to do with being very in-touch with your masculine & feminine side. Nonbinary just focuses more in being in a constant state of awareness of both genders, while being genderfluid, some days (or rather times, I should say) your awareness of a certain a certain gender has suddenly grown strong within you & is your person in that very moment, without question.

I hope in this, I have clarified the differences between androgyne & genderfluid not just for me, but for others out there as well.

We should all try out best to understand how vital it is that each person holds the right to decide what their gender identity truly is, & that they are the only one who may do so.


Research credit to:http://nonbinary.org/wiki/Genderfluid

http://nonbinary.org/wiki/Agender

Cover Image Credit: Genderfluid, androgynous, nonbinary, female, male, genders, fluid genders, genderqueer, queer

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No, I Don't Have To Tell You I'm Trans Before Dating You

Demanding trans people come out to potential partners is transphobic.
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In 2014, Jennifer Laude, a 26-year-old Filipina woman, was brutally murdered after having sex with a U.S. marine. The marine in question, Joseph Scott Pemberton, strangled her until she was unconscious and then proceeded to drown her in a toilet bowl.

Understandably, this crime triggered a lot of outrage. But while some were outraged over the horrific nature of the crime, many others were outraged by a different detail in the story. That was because Jennifer Laude had done the unspeakable. She was a trans woman and had not disclosed that information before having sex with Pemberton. So in the minds of many cis people, her death was the price she paid for not disclosing her trans status. Here are some of the comments on CNN's Facebook page when the story broke.

As a trans person, I run into this attitude all the time. I constantly hear cis people raging about how a trans person is "lying" if they don't come out to a potential partner before dating them. Pemberton himself claimed that he felt like he was "raped" because Laude did not come out to him. Even cis people that fashion themselves as "allies" tend to feel similar.

Their argument is that they aren't not attracted to trans people, so they should have a right to know if a potential partner is trans before dating them. These people view transness as a mere physical quality that they just aren't attracted to.

The issue with this logic is that the person in question is obviously attracted to trans people, or else they wouldn't be worried about accidentally going out with one. So these people aren't attracted to trans people because of some physical quality, they aren't attracted to trans people because they are disgusted by the very idea of transness.

Disgust towards trans people is ingrained in all of us from a very early age. The gender binary forms the basis of European societies. It establishes that there are men and there are women, and each has a specific role. For the gender binary to have power, it has to be rigid and inflexible. Thus, from the day we are born, we are taught to believe in a very static and strict form of gender. We learn that if you have a penis, you are a man, and if you have a vagina, you are a woman. Trans people are walking refutations of this concept of gender. Our very existence threatens to undermine the gender binary itself. And for that, we are constantly demonized. For example, trans people, mainly women of color, continue to be slaughtered in droves for being trans.

The justification of transphobic oppression is often that transness is inherently disgusting. For example, the "trans panic" defense still exists to this day. This defense involves the defendant asking for a lesser sentence after killing a trans person because they contend that when they found out the victim was trans, they freaked out and couldn't control themselves. This defense is still legal in every state but California.

And our culture constantly reinforces the notion that transness is undesirable. For example, there is the common trope in fictional media in which a male protagonist is "tricked" into sleeping with a trans woman. The character's disgust after finding out is often used as a punchline.

Thus, not being attracted to trans people is deeply transphobic. The entire notion that someone isn't attracted to a group of very physically diverse group of people because they are trans is built on fear and disgust of trans people. None of this means it is transphobic to not be attracted to individual trans people. Nor is it transphobic to not be attracted to specific genitals. But it is transphobic to claim to not be attracted to all trans, people. For example, there is a difference between saying you won't go out with someone for having a penis and saying you won't go out with someone because they're trans.

So when a cis person argues that a trans person has an obligation to come out to someone before dating them, they are saying trans people have an obligation to accommodate their transphobia. Plus, claiming that trans people are obligated to come out reinforces the idea that not being attracted to trans people is reasonable. But as I've pointed out, not being attracted to trans people supports the idea that transness is disgusting which is the basis for transphobic oppression.

The one scenario in which I would say a trans person should disclose their trans status is if they are going to have sex with someone and are unsure if their partner is attracted to whatever genitals they may have. In that case, I think it's courteous for a trans person to come out to avoid any awkwardness during sex. But even then, a trans person isn't "lying" if they don't come out and their partner is certainly not being "raped."

It is easy to look at the story of Jennifer Laude and claim that her death was due to the actions of one bigot. But it's more complicated than that. Pemberton was the product of a society that told him that disgust towards trans people was reasonable and natural. So when he found out that he accidentally slept with a trans woman, he killed her.

Every single cis person that says that trans people have to come out because they aren't attracted to trans people feeds into the system that caused Jennifer Laude's death. And until those cis people acknowledge their complicity in that system, there will only be more like Jennifer Laude.

SEE ALSO: Yes, You Absolutely Need To Tell Someone You're Trans Before Dating

Cover Image Credit: Nats Getty / Instagram

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Coffee Consideration: Pedophilia & The LGBT Community

Part 1 of the issue surrounding pedophilia and the LGBT community beginning with my personal feelings.

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Dear people who think pedophilia deserves a spot on the LGBT spectrum,

When I first read that 'pedophilia,' was being considered as being added among the LGBT community, I nearly spit out my coffee.

There were even Ted Talks featuring different people using phrases such as, 'they have feelings too,' and, 'we should consider all sexualities.'

My nose turned up, and the coffee I was drinking became a sudden catalyst to potential vomit. For the life of me, I couldn't understand why this was even being an idea to promote.

Now, I speak directly to those who feel compelled to 'consider the feelings,' of those who identify as pedophiles: did that person consider the feelings of the child they preyed upon?

I'm trying to find an image in my mind where a child's feelings were taken into consideration before their innocence was stripped cleanly away from them without protest. Alas, there are none that exist in my mind. No amount of Ted Talks will change that.

Even while I write this, I am still utterly shell-shocked that we live in an age where something in previous eras that was found to be horrific is now being pushed into society as a normality.

Any time someone wants to tell me that I'm black Alice and have accidentally fallen into Dysfunctional-land, please let me know immediately.

The LGBT community is not a lab where you can test out your ideas to see if they will work or not for the rest of society. It is a place in which people, some being my loved ones, had to fight and still are fighting to live within every day. There are people that have even died just to do so. If you'd like a metaphor, their community is their home, and your seeing pedophilia as a sexuality is the unwelcomed guest that walked in, kicked their feet up on the coffee table, and asked, 'what's for dinner?'

You are trying to place one of the most inexcusable acts onto another body of people, which is an absolute insult. I see this 'revelation' of yours as spitting in the face of the entire LGBT community.

You've actually inspired me to go catch up with the LGBT community so we can further discuss this atrocity over more coffee. That's the only thing you've done right, it seems, so, thank you?

Do you have children or know of children you are close to within your personal life? The next time you utter another word about having a pedophile pass as a person who is misunderstood, remember the face of the child you encounter every day. That is the very same person your 'misunderstood pedophile,' wants to prey upon.

Your opinion is your very own, but to summarize my feelings on everything I just said, I'll use the most informal approach in case you got confused along the way while reading:

You tried it.


Unapologetically,

Coffee Consideration

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