I have dreamed about going to college for a long time. I longed to leave the house and be independent. I drooled over the idea of having a cute dorm room and an awesome roommate and making lifelong friends. It’s been something I’ve been daydreaming about for years but once the time came to actually start writing essays and filling out applications, I was struck with fear. I didn’t want to go. I still wanted to move out and be on my own and do what I loved, but maybe not in the college setting. Plus, it didn’t help that I reached out to a successful actor and he told me that I didn’t need a college degree to be an actor. Maybe I should take a gap year, get some money, figure out what I wanted, do some acting work, learn how to be on my own. I looked at places that could give me training but not a degree that would take me straight to the acting capitals of the world. I could do that intensive, non-stop training and just skip the whole academic part.

Let’s face it, a lot of people don’t like school. But some people need it. I was convinced that I didn’t need it. Trying to fit in made me convince myself for years that I didn’t like school. I’m still not sure if I do. School isn’t for everybody. I started to question if it wasn’t for me even while I was sitting on the A’s and B’s I got during most of my high school career. Maybe I would go to college and immediately hate it. I would love the independence but hate going to class everyday, even if it was something that I loved.

I was so afraid that the image I had crafted in my head of the “college experience”, thanks to the mass amounts of media I consumed, wasn’t going to be the same in real life. Maybe I would hate every campus I visited, or come back after months on move-in day and not feel the same I did when I decided to commit 4 years of my life to it. Then I would be wasting money and wasting valuable time I could be using to kickstart my career or taking an opportunity that I could never get again. I wouldn’t know and that was a terrifying concept.

Now that I’m here, I love it with all of my heart. Sure, it has its problems. What school doesn’t? But I am so glad I came. Sometimes you just have to take that leap of faith and see what happens. Now, it’s an expensive leap, so always figure that out first. It is more than okay to take a gap year to figure things out financially, or just mentally. Your mental health comes first in this situation and if you are completely adverse to the idea of going to a major university, you don’t have to. You have options. If you don’t know what you want to do, maybe think of enrolling in community college. It’s so much easier than changing your major every year and still not knowing what you want after you end up $50,000 in debt.

College isn’t for everyone. Not everyone wants to do something that requires a college education. Some education, probably. Our society is set up in a way that the more money you spent on getting a piece of paper, the more you’ll get paid to (maybe) pay off your loans by the time you retire. It all depends on what you want out of life and what you need. So, if you’re torn between going and not going, I would suggest at least trying. It’s better than not knowing. But if someone is forcing or pressuring you to go, that’s a problem.

At the end of the day, you know what’s best for you and if college fits into that equation, that’s great. If it’s not, also great. You can still be happy and get everything out of life that you can. Don’t worry. Everything will be okay.