After I transferred schools, I started going through a really hard time outside of school. A lot was going on in my life and I started to feel really lost. I had many connections throughout Greek Life on campus, and I decided to rush a Sorority. I remember sitting at info night listening to the sisters talk about how they were going through hard times when they joined and how their sisters helped them through that. I remember sitting in complete awe and excitement, because that was me. I was struggling. I thought the girls sitting in the room would become my family. I would have friends. And maybe one day, I would be sitting at info night with letters across my chest telling other girls who were rushing how the Sorority saved me. I remember crying to one of the sisters after the meeting was over, telling her how much she meant to me and how much I needed this. How much I needed her. How much I needed them.
And then, I didn't get a bid.
I needed them, but they didn't need me.
I was already going through a hard time, and then it become a spiral to hell. It was a huge group of girls I wanted to be apart of so bad, that simply just didn't want me. I began to hate myself. I cried more than I already was. I didn't sit on campus in fear of seeing one of them and bursting into tears. I simply didn't belong.
So I decided I would try for a bid again, and didn't make grades. Then took a spring semester course specifically to rush again, but then the grade requirement was raised and I didn't make it, even though I just took a class just to rush. I was a mess. And then, I realized something. God was telling me that being in Greek Life is not what I am supposed to do. Although I want to be, and I will forever regret that I'm not trying to rush again, God has told me that this is not my path.
I'll never know why I didn't get a bid, and granted this was over a year and a half ago, it still sometimes haunts me. Those sisters are still my friends, I still spend time with them, and every time I do I wonder why they wanted to be my friend but didn't want me to be their sister. But I'm not supposed to know, and honestly I don't think I want to know.
Until recently, all my friends were in Greek life. My best friend is in the Sorority I rushed, my boyfriend is in a Fraternity. I've become super close with his brothers, and a lot of my friends were in other Greek life organizations on campus. It was hard not being able to go to Greek events with them, not being able to wear cute letters with my boyfriend. It's still hard seeing your bid day pics, big/ little reveals, and imitation day pics. It's hard not having a big to call, being able to get excited over a little or even make a paddle. But I've realized that wasn't my path. I'm meant to be where I'm going now.
Honestly, I'm over the fact now that I didn't get a bid, but since Bids are about to be given any time now (if they haven't been already) I have some things I want all girls involved to know:
To those in a Sorority: Don't forget that the girl who doesn't get one may need a friend. Don't forget that she may take this personally, because it might be personal. Don't forget her face so you can say hi to her when you see her on campus. Offer for her to sit with you if you see her at the FOC. Shoot her a message and offer to get lunch with her, just you two one on one. Make an effort with her, even though she isn't in your Sorority. This is what I wish somebody would have done for me. Because I needed a friend.
And to those of you who didn't get a bid this semester: IT IS OKAY. You don't need those letters to be their friend. Do not take it personal, because it may be something beyond just you. Don't think that they're snobs because they didn't pick you. Don't stop coming around. Don't cry in the car, look away when you see them on campus. Don't delete them off Facebook. Don't think you're hated and nobody likes you. BECAUSE YOU ARE DEEPLY LOVED BY SO MANY OTHER PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE. Do not let somebody else define your happiness. Maybe this just wasn't your path, just like it wasn't my path.
I'm so active with everyone in Greek life, and I have so much respect, love and friendship with them, that I encourage people to rush all the time. Just because it wasn't my path, doesn't mean it isn't yours. However, for me, I have learned that I don't need letters on my chest to find friends. Friends come from so many different places, and I have found love and support from not only those sisters that I didn't join, but the friends I made outside Greek life.
Remember, it doesn't matter how you met your friends, they still mean everything.