I have always thrived off the energy of others. I love to be in the presence of other people. In fact, I'm a class-A example of the girl that knows no stranger. It makes me happy to spend time with just about anyone. You would think that this wouldn't be much of an issue, and most of the time it's not, except for the fact that I get overly attached.
The moment you come into my life, I start to feel attached. I don't know what it is about me, but I become emotionally attached easily. People become very important, and I instantly get personal from the beginning of my relationships. I sometimes come off as "overly nice," which turns into people thinking it's fake. Sometimes they even call me obnoxious, but I'm not trying to be. I just genuinely get excited about new people coming into my life.
Being overly attached to people creates a lot of problems in my life. One of the worst issues I face is always being fearful that people don't care about me the way I care about them. I care so much about the people I interact with, but then I have to worry about if they actually want to be around me or if they just deal with me. It's really hard always questioning people's sincerity. Sometimes I experience a certain level of anxiety from it.
When people suddenly slip out of my life, I take it really hard. In my head I know that there's a million reasons and circumstances of why people separate, but I almost never come to peace about why people suddenly go MIA. It literally makes me feel sick inside when people leave my life. Every time it hurts me and feels like some sort of betrayal, even if that's not the case. I don't hold resentment towards those people, I just feel a deep sense of abandonment.
I'm (almost) always the friend that the connection depends on. This is something I've come to really recognize over time. In most of my friendships, if I'm not the one reaching out, they all fail. I realized this when I became really busy with school and my job. Slowly, one by one, people drop out of my life, and that's when I realized that I was the only one really putting an effort, but it never bothered me because I'm so emotionally attached. I did what I had to do.
The bottom line is, being overly attached is sometimes really heart breaking, but it also has it perks. Since people know I'm in friendships for the long run, they often come to me and trust me on a deeper level. That makes me feel like I matter. I also appreciate the way it contributes to my character. I get to be the friend that always loves you, even when you've separated yourself or when we've just drifted apart. No matter what, wherever you are in life, and no matter how long you're gone, I will always welcome you back with open arms.
