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Health and Wellness

Dear Diary...

A letter to learning on loving yourself.

Alyssa Lynne
Feb 23, 2016
Seattle Pacific University
45
Dear Diary...
Google

Dear Diary...

Looking back to my 2015 diary, I noticed a page ripped out of the hinges; So I went on a search for that page. I had no idea what page I ripped out, and why I ripped this piece of paper out, but knowing me, I would not have thrown the piece out. Now, I know exactly why I ripped the piece out. Here's a little insight of my mind at that point.

"Today, I looked through the mirror while changing into my pajamas. The image of me standing in the mirror was not pretty in that moment. Only my pale skin, in nothing but a bra and panties, standing there, examining myself. I looked tired. Mentally and physically, you could see the emotion of my weary body. I was not pleased with my appearance, and I did not like how my hands looked so small against my stomach; although, I didn't mind how they looked at the same time. My image felt more different than normal. My image felt.. okay. After I got dressed though, I sat down in front of the mirror, wearing my sports bra and my shorts. I saw all the layers, all my fat, it bothered me so much. Then I took off my makeup. The tool that makes me appear beautiful. Half my face was showing, the other side was still covered. What a difference I thought. How different I could actually look with a little paint. In the end, with all my makeup off, I was somewhat pleased with my face. But I continued to stare, and the more I stared, the more ugly I got. All I could think at that moment was, I don't think I will ever become so confient and beautiful, not with all these gorgeous girls walking over me.

03.17.2015"

Now as I look back to that note, to that thin piece of paper from a book I once told all my secrets,I smile. I smile because it has been almost one exact year, and I have changed. I can look at myself in the mirror. I am proud of my image. Yes there may be scars onmy thighs, and rolls on my tummy, but, I live in this body. What I live in I will love. My face is beautiful, I just don't quite see it yet, but I am working on that. It takes me baby steps to love myself, but I have already accomplished so much.

“Love yourself. Forgive yourself. Be true to yourself. How you treat yourself sets the standard for how others will treat you.” ~ Steve Maraboli

02.22.2016


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