I've never really thought about my own mental wellbeing. Throughout grade school, I would feel sad or low, but I never thought about it as something serious. However, once I got to college and started spending a lot of time alone, I realized that my wellbeing wasn't in the place that it needed to be.
But there's just one thing with this picture: I've always been too proud or too afraid to seek help for it.
I've never been to a therapist or been diagnosed with anything. But I know how my heart beats and my mind races when I'm about to panic. I know how it feels to lie on my back, face up to the ceiling with no lights on for hours. I know what it's like to not even want to cry because that takes up too much energy. And I know what it's like to be so stressed over everything in your life that instead of sorting it all out, you sleep instead.
When you live a decent life and no huge trauma happens, you sometimes wonder if your emotions and struggles are even valid. You wonder if you really are feeling these things to their full extent, because maybe, somewhere, someone is feeling it worse than you are. You try to push it down and tell yourself that you're not really depressed or that you're not really experiencing anxiety. But you very well could be.
Your feelings and emotions are 100% valid. Even if you've never been diagnosed or never seen a therapist, you still deserve to feel happy and secure. I encourage you to take the steps that you need to in order to better your mental wellbeing. Whether that's seeing a therapist, taking medication, talking to your friends and family, or using outlets like writing and music to express your emotions, don't be afraid. Don't ever feel like there's not someone in your corner. There always is.
If it helps you understand, this is the first article that I've been able to write since January because I just can't form a cohesive thought anymore. But I'm working on it. I'm signed up for therapy sessions and I'm taking steps to better my mental health. I hope everyone else that feels the way I felt will find their own ways to better themselves.
