As a recreational writer, it can be hard to commit to a single style every week. While my heart wants to write moving pieces, it just can't without proper preparation or understanding of a topic. One subject I've avoided is, funny enough, myself.
If you've ever been a close friend of mine, you know that I have two sides to my personality: the serious side that focuses on work, projects or goals and the inexplicably silly side that I often pass as "my final state" at the end of a long week.
This week, I'll be exploring the silly side. Don't get me wrong; I am in a frustrated, if not infuriated, state as most of us are. The wars taking place around us come first and foremost. I am feeling helpless, but I am only hurting myself by ruminating and not allowing myself to feel any sense of "being OK." The painful, stressful times are when we are most prone to personality changes. As I grow, I hope to develop positively. And I never want to lose that silly side I was born with or the happy times that got me through everything.
I asked my friend Jason to pick 10 random GIFs on giphy.com. Due to bandwidth and time problems, Jason was able to find five glorious GIFs, to which I will have to relate myself with!
First off, we have an homage to 75 percent of my battery life in the past week.
1. When you block that shade.
This past month or so, I've become well-acquainted with myself as an Aries (yes, I was raised in a very Walter Mercado home). It's funny to think about, but being timid in school made me believe I was created for the purpose of being pushed around by other people or groups. I've finally found my fiery and independent streak. I need to stick up for myself once in a while.
2. Smooth prune for an old soul.
When I'm not dodging shade, I'm most likely just chilling about, trying to get things done right. I love being calm with friends when I do get a chance to relax. And I occasionally break for a solo-dance party. Did I mention purple is one of my preferred colors?
3. Accurate depiction of me studying at 3 a.m.
There's no doubt, we've all overworked our brains to the point of delusion at some point. Silly Kathy will run into trouble reading words correctly after a couple of all-nighters, but there is always a good friend nearby to straighten out the situation!
4. Me before a big social event/night out/concert/book signing/visit home/first time cooking something new/being right on time for work/pretty much everything else.
My anxiety monkey is pretty strong. The monkey likes to warn me of imminent danger before my hippocampus has a chance to reassure me with logic. Yes, anxiety is a real issue that many of us face. But we all have different reactions to it, and thankfully mine is not life-threatening in any sense. Since being diagnosed, I've done my best to overcome it naturally by seeing the world in a positive light and taking the time to reason with myself before my monkey makes me flee.
Along the way, the monkey gets some pretty funny reactions out of me. Turns out, jumpiness can be pretty entertaining — to friends, myself, all parties involved! Good times all around.
5. On fleek 24/7: A battle well-fought with self-image.
As a young girl, I struggled with accepting compliments in any way. I had unconsciously trained myself to not believe "their lies," when all along, I was just lying to myself. I'm a person who just wants the best for those around her. I do my best to push myself forward, and I think the strength and candidness shows sometimes. And I don't really see why I should continue to bash myself for that.
Here is a GIF of my girl Demi feeling herself. Pretty much sums it up!
