Depression is a topic that gets written about a lot and it’s wonderful for people not to feel alone in the time of need. But the more people go through it and let others know what it felt like for them, there becomes this misconception that as soon as you start to feel better or as soon as you find some medication, you’re cured.

But that's not how it works.

Depression is different for every person that experiences it. There is no handbook or manual on how to cope with it.

Depression hit me like a truck filled with bricks in a time I thought I should be thriving. For the longest time, I couldn’t figure out what was wrong with me and why I felt so negative and frustrated all the time.

I evaluated my life over and over and over again trying to figure out what was wrong with me. I kept looking at everything that was amazing in my life and couldn’t figure out why I was being negative about it. I ignored it all until it was far too late.

I got to a point where nothing mattered to me.

For my whole life, I was the kind of student where school and family were the most important things in life. But yet when I stopped being able to get out of bed for anything, including those, I still ignored it.

I laid in my bed for weeks at a time. Never showering. Never eating. Never Socializing.

There were moments when I forgot what the sun felt like on my skin. I forgot what it felt like to be hugged by someone that mattered to me. I forgot what it felt like to be cared about or even what it felt like to care about other things.

There became a ground-breaking moment when I realized I couldn’t keep living my life like this. I couldn’t keep just going with the means of living without even having a meaning to live.

I made the decision on my own to call a psychiatrist and make an appointment for as soon as they were available. I had just turned 16.

Everyone around me was living life and having what was supposed to be “the best four years of their life,” but yet I was struggling to find a reason to live. I thought that as soon as I got on medication everything was going to be rainbows and that I was going to be back to who I was.

I went through 13 different medications before I found one that finally worked well with my metabolism and my body.

Just because I get up every day and take my medication before I start my day, doesn’t mean I don’t still have my struggling days.

There are still days when it takes every muscle in my body to pry myself out from under my sheets. There are still days when I even debate if all of this is even worth it.

Yes, my medication makes things a million times more bearable, but there are still moments when I question everything I’m doing. There are still moments when I even question if I should be taking my medication.

But then I remind myself what it was like to go through that.

I remind myself how strong I am because of it.

I may have my day to day struggles, but nothing will compare to what I went through to get to where I am today. I have to remind myself that I never want to go through that again.

And that in order to not go through that again, I have to fight every single day. Even on the days when fighting doesn’t seem worth it.

You have to always keep in mind that even though you may have your struggling moments, that you never want to experience that all over again.

Whether you are still shoulders deep in hard thoughts or if you just get waves of it from time to time, you have to remember that you are strong and that you can get through this and that you have been in worse positions.

Never stop trying and never give up. Even when you are fighting every thought and every muscle otherwise, you can never give up.

You owe yourself more than that.

And always remember, there is nothing wrong with asking for help.