"I met you out of the blue; actually, it was in the blue. You didn’t know me, but I knew you.
Our relationship is disgusting, yet you will never leave me because you are nothing.
I started off as a little part of your life, but then I grew.
I’ve grown into your nightmares, and I will devour you.
I am not poetic or glamorous.
I am the beauty that you see in others and not yourself.
We don’t see each other much, but I swear I never leave.
But I will always come when you least expect it.
I am that girl in a crop top with a perfect body that scoffs in your direction.
I am that gym rat that could break a plank of wood in half.
I am the math grade that reminds you that you are in my eternal damnation.
You will never amount to anything, except in your epitaph.
You cry out for help, but nobody listens.
Nobody cares. Nobody is there.
Just give it up.
We can go on without you, their lives will still glisten.
You are pathetic, and you know it’s the truth.
Forget that time you won the science fair.
Forget the time you placed first at the track meet.
Why do you even try?
Your friends don’t really like you.
They fake it so they can talk about you behind your back.
Your so-called "best friend"
probably wishes you were dead.
Oh, look! You have scars!
Attention whore. You look like a messed up science project.
Did those hurt?
Piece of crap, that's funny. You know people don’t actually see them, right?
Oh, that best friend tried to help you?
They say that they’re concerned.
I would be, too!
Imagine how embarrassing it must be to be friends with you.
The counselor has intervened for your own good.
They’re are getting you some medicine and meetings three times a week.
They are all lying. It’s not all understood.
You know the truth. You’re nothing but a freak.
It’s been awhile since I’ve seen you.
How’s the therapy?
I am back, and I’m here to stay.
I will ravage your mind in two.
You tell your mom it’s working.
Your dad thinks it will be OK.
They say that they are there for you.
What else would you expect them to say?
You’ve had enough, you’re tired now?
Imagine how I feel, looking at that pathetic excuse in the mirror.
In fact, it’s really selfish that you damage our eyes like this.
Conceited much?
You’re a moronic excuse for nothing.
I really can’t tell a lie.
What would the entire world do if you just let yourself die?
Would anybody have wanted one last goodbye?
Business will remain as usual.
The air pressure will still be the same.
Everyone will move on as normal.
They’d certainly forget your name.
Oh, so this is it?
Time for the end?
The curtain has fallen?
Can I still be your friend?
Try not to cry now, baby.
It was just your time to go.
You’re doing everyone a favor.
I swear I’ll miss you, though.
She was a wonderful person.
Her time has come too soon.
She’s in a glorious place now.
There was nothing you could do.
As tragic as this may seem to you.
She was my best client.
I may come see you next.
But, I’ll come when you are somewhat perplexed.
You can’t defeat me.
She just wanted her release.
I can now see I’ve done my job quite well.
An eternal “Rest in Peace”
~ Zackary Devoll, 2014
If this resonates with you, I promise that there are people that care. More than you will ever realize. Please, take care of yourself. Everyone has the potential to succeed, thrive and jive. You are a beautiful, unique, human being. Someone out there loves you. Somebody cares.
Depression isn't just suicidal thoughts or cuts on the body. Depression can be showing insomnia, eating changes, fatigue and many other physical symptoms. It's not that someone doesn't want to get out of bed, they can't. If you or somebody you know is experiencing depression or depression symptoms. Please get help.
Depression is a disease. It causes suffering in its patients. It may seem as if they are drowning with their family and friends watching. Hope may not seem apparent.
I wrote the opening poem as a personification of the illness. I see depression as a heartless criminal that murders reality. Everyone perceives it differently. It may seem like its all in their head but
I am not a psychologist. If you are suffering from depression, please, I beg of you, get help. Somebody, somewhere, appreciates it.
Crisis Call Center
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Depression and Bipolar Support
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National Hopeline Network
800-SUICIDE (784-2433)
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Crisis Center and Hotlines Locator by State
Suicide Prevention Services Depression Hotline
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