My Depression Shaped Me Into Who I Am Today

My Depression Shaped Me Into Who I Am Today

Battling a mental illness can be hard, but can make you a better person.

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It's true, I suffered from depression for several years, as do many others. Depression is not being sad for a week or two because your boyfriend broke up with you. Depression is much more than that. When I was depressed I dreaded getting out of bed to go to family gatherings, to hang out with my friends, or to even go to school. I always felt unwanted by everyone I knew, which led to me isolating myself from the world, and only made things worse for me.

People ask me what it was like to have depression and seem shocked when they find out that I'm eager to share my story with them. I am not ashamed to share my story, because my past struggle with depression is a part of me and always will be. Do I wish I never struggled with depression? Well, it would have been nice to have enjoyed those years of my life, but if I had never struggled with depression, I don't think I would be the person I am today. I am someone who cares deeply about mental health-related issues and thinks that there should be more attention being brought to them.

Nowadays when I get on my social media, especially Twitter, I see many posts about mental health-related issues. Unfortunately, those posts are not speaking about the importance of mental illnesses, but instead, are basically glorifying them. Since I am someone who has struggled with a mental illness in the past, I do find posts like those to be very offensive. To me, those posts can be very insensitive and I personally believe that is an issue that people think it is okay to joke about things such as suicidal thoughts, depression, eating disorders, or anxiety disorders.

Battling depression is not an easy thing for someone to do, at least for me it wasn't, and should most definitely not be joked about. When I finally spoke up about having depression I realized that a lot of tension was lifted off my shoulders. I no longer felt like I had to hide in shame from feeling so depressed all the time, and by speaking up about having depression, I was able to get the help I needed, which helped me become my true self again. I was no longer a girl who would isolate herself from everyone because she didn't have the energy to be around others. Finally, I was able to enjoy life to the fullest again and happily spend time with those I care deeply about, and make the most of my life.

Depression shaped me into a person who wants to help others get through their battles against any kind of mental illness. Beating depression led to me becoming a psychology major and setting the goal for myself to become a clinical psychologist. I also want to be able to speak out about the importance of mental illnesses, so that it will change people's perspectives of them. People need to realize that it is nothing to be ashamed about because mental illnesses are almost out of our control, and if one feels ashamed about having a mental illness, then that could stop them from seeking the help they need.

My battle against depression made me a determined and hardworking person who will reach her goals of helping others who are in the shoes that she was once in. Nothing will hold me back from accomplishing my dream of helping those who need help the most.

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Everything You Will Miss If You Commit Suicide

The world needs you.
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You won't see the sunrise or have your favorite breakfast in the morning.

Instead, your family will mourn the sunrise because it means another day without you.

You will never stay up late talking to your friends or have a bonfire on a summer night.

You won't laugh until you cry again, or dance around and be silly.

You won't go on another adventure. You won't drive around under the moonlight and stars.

They'll miss you. They'll cry.

You won't fight with your siblings only to make up minutes later and laugh about it.

You won't get to interrogate your sister's fiancé when the time comes.

You won't be there to wipe away your mother's tears when she finds out that you're gone.

You won't be able to hug the ones that love you while they're waiting to wake up from the nightmare that had become their reality.

You won't be at your grandparents funeral, speaking about the good things they did in their life.

Instead, they will be at yours.

You won't find your purpose in life, the love of your life, get married or raise a family.

You won't celebrate another Christmas, Easter or birthday.

You won't turn another year older.

You will never see the places you've always dreamed of seeing.

You will not allow yourself the opportunity to get help.

This will be the last sunset you see.

You'll never see the sky change from a bright blue to purples, pinks, oranges, and yellows meshing together over the landscape again.

If the light has left your eyes and all you see is the darkness, know that it can get better. Let yourself get better.

This is what you will miss if you leave the world today.

This is who will care about you when you are gone.

You can change lives. But I hope it's not at the expense of yours.

We care. People care.

Don't let today be the end.

You don't have to live forever sad. You can be happy. It's not wrong to ask for help.

Thank you for staying. Thank you for fighting.

Suicide is a real problem that no one wants to talk about. I'm sure you're no different. But we need to talk about it. There is no difference between being suicidal and committing suicide. If someone tells you they want to kill themselves, do not think they won't do it. Do not just tell them, “Oh you'll be fine." Because when they aren't, you will wonder what you could have done to help. Sit with them however long you need to and tell them it will get better. Talk to them about their problems and tell them there is help. Be the help. Get them assistance. Remind them of all the things they will miss in life.

If you or someone you know is experiencing suicidal thoughts, call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline — 1-800-273-8255

Cover Image Credit: Brittani Norman

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Poetry On Odyssey: Depression Isn't Taken Seriously Until You Commit Suicide

According to society, until you commit suicide, your feelings aren't valid.

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"You're only seeking attention." Until you commit suicide.

"You just want everybody to feel sorry for you." Until you commit suicide.

"You're not actually stressed out." Until you commit suicide.

"You don't actually feel that way." Until you commit suicide.

"What do you even have in your life to be depressed about?" Until you commit suicide.

"You're just not trying hard enough to be happy." Until you commit suicide.

"You just like to complain about your problems." Until you commit suicide.

"Depression isn't real." Until you commit suicide.

"Your life can't be that hard." Until you commit suicide.

"You have too many good things in your life to feel that way." Until you commit suicide.

"You're just trying to be negative." Until you commit suicide.

"You're just psycho." Until you commit suicide.

"You don't know what struggling really feels like." Until you commit suicide.

"The world doesn't revolve around you." Until you commit suicide.

"It's not like it's the end of the world." Until you commit suicide.

"You're not actually sad." Until you commit suicide.


No one takes your depression seriously, until...you commit suicide.


If this article hits home, it's okay to speak up. Seek help if you need it, you are not alone.

National Suicide Prevention Line: 1-800-273-8255

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