Depression From A Guy's Point Of View

Depression From A Guy's Point Of View

The minority when it comes to the illness speaks out.
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The way Webster's Dictionary describes depression is that it is "a serious medical condition in which a person feels very sad, hopeless, and unimportant and often is unable to live in a normal way." So you would probably brush it aside as someone who is just down all the time, right? That's not even half of it, but don't sweat it, you aren't the only one who may look at it like that. Many people may even have the illness and only half of those suffering aren't even aware of it!

Here are a few scary statistics: 18 percent of Americans suffer from depression, 30 percent of college students suffer from depression, and 15 percent of those depressed take their own lives. 90 percent of suicides in high-income countries are caused by depression. Nevertheless, depression is the most common disorder in the world, but what is it actually? Depression has many forms, but generally the same lineup of traits are found. Women tend to be more lethargic, sad, and down, whereas men are more irritable and aggressive, also tending to drown their depression with alcohol. And for every one girl who commits suicide, four men kill themselves. The issue presented is that men refuse to seek treatment, tell themselves that they are fine, and have been raised since around the age of ten to hide their emotions. Speak to some guys you associate with; many, if not all of them will say they have not cried since their youth, since crying is a bad image for their masculinity.

Step into the shoes of a depressed male: On your worst days, it could take you even an hour to get out of bed. You lose all motivation to do anything, even those activities which used to please you dearly during your 'better times.' 'The little things' do in fact get to you now. When depression hits, you often become oblivious to the fact that you know people still care about you, but it seems like not a soul cares at all, like you are developing psychological tunnel vision and viewing life through tinted lenses. You are not necessarily suicidal, but ideas like jaywalking without looking because you don't care if you get hit by a car, being cruel to people around you in hopes that they leave you and you have less reason to live, drinking in hopes that your liver fails, or any similar thoughts come across your mind occasionally. You feel shut out since you cannot express emotions without being judged. Blankets of emptiness, numbness, nothingness, hatred, and worthlessness shroud you and deplete your efforts to socialize. In the words of comedian Kevin Breel, "Depression isn't when you feel down when everything is going wrong, rather depression is when you feel down even when everything is going right."

What to do now? Some traits you can pick off about a depressed individual are loss of appetite, lack of motivation, tendency to prefer long sleeves, concentration issues, and eerie sleep habits among others that are a Google search away. Regardless of your gender and what you may believe, I encourage you to take Goldberg's Test and give honest responses. It may not be a professional, but if your score and responses raise woes, then seeing an actual psychologist or psychiatrist is ideal. Many people are too broken to speak to a professional, so there is indeed a legitimate crisis text line which will hook you up with a professional if you text GO to 742-742. Spread the word, because you may never know who is suffering, let it be a family member, friend, or even a stranger, and how sharing this information could save a life. Every life matters.

Cover Image Credit: Bio Chemistry Research

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8 Reasons Why My Dad Is the Most Important Man In My Life

Forever my number one guy.
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Growing up, there's been one consistent man I can always count on, my father. In any aspect of my life, my dad has always been there, showing me unconditional love and respect every day. No matter what, I know that my dad will always be the most important man in my life for many reasons.

1. He has always been there.

Literally. From the day I was born until today, I have never not been able to count on my dad to be there for me, uplift me and be the best dad he can be.

2. He learned to adapt and suffer through girly trends to make me happy.

I'm sure when my dad was younger and pictured his future, he didn't think about the Barbie pretend pageants, dressing up as a princess, perfecting my pigtails and enduring other countless girly events. My dad never turned me down when I wanted to play a game, no matter what and was always willing to help me pick out cute outfits and do my hair before preschool.

3. He sends the cutest texts.

Random text messages since I have gotten my own cell phone have always come my way from my dad. Those randoms "I love you so much" and "I am so proud of you" never fail to make me smile, and I can always count on my dad for an adorable text message when I'm feeling down.

4. He taught me how to be brave.

When I needed to learn how to swim, he threw me in the pool. When I needed to learn how to ride a bike, he went alongside me and made sure I didn't fall too badly. When I needed to learn how to drive, he was there next to me, making sure I didn't crash.

5. He encourages me to best the best I can be.

My dad sees the best in me, no matter how much I fail. He's always there to support me and turn my failures into successes. He can sit on the phone with me for hours, talking future career stuff and listening to me lay out my future plans and goals. He wants the absolute best for me, and no is never an option, he is always willing to do whatever it takes to get me where I need to be.

6. He gets sentimental way too often, but it's cute.

Whether you're sitting down at the kitchen table, reminiscing about your childhood, or that one song comes on that your dad insists you will dance to together on your wedding day, your dad's emotions often come out in the cutest possible way, forever reminding you how loved you are.


7. He supports you, emotionally and financially.

Need to vent about a guy in your life that isn't treating you well? My dad is there. Need some extra cash to help fund spring break? He's there for that, too.

8. He shows me how I should be treated.

Yes, my dad treats me like a princess, and I don't expect every guy I meet to wait on me hand and foot, but I do expect respect, and that's exactly what my dad showed I deserve. From the way he loves, admires, and respects me, he shows me that there are guys out there who will one day come along and treat me like that. My dad always advises me to not put up with less than I deserve and assures me that the right guy will come along one day.

For these reasons and more, my dad will forever be my No. 1 man. I love you!

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An Incurable Disease Doesn't Change The Love I Have For You

Because one day the one you love the most is fine and the next day they're not, it causes devastation you never truly recover from.

nadoty
nadoty
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Loving someone with an incurable disease is the most emotionally straining thing I have ever experienced.

My significant other and I have been together for almost six years. During the summer of 2018, we all noticed the significant changes he was going through. He had lost around fifty pounds and had a lack of appetite. We had figured something was going on, however, we didn't realize it was anything serious.

Fast forward to the Fall semester of 2018. I had visited my boyfriend and we had expressed certain concerns, such as, through the night I would try and get him to stop uncontrollably itching his legs to the point of bleeding, or that he was looking a little yellow and was exhausted all the time. After seeing his sister in November, while I was at school, she pleaded with him to go to urgent care because he did not look good. He was yellow, exhausted, and very sickly looking. We didn't realize that the urgent care visit would be the precedent of the rest of our lives.

After coming home for Thanksgiving and spending a week straight in the hospital with him, it finally set in that something was not right. Between all the vomit, getting moved for testing, the weakness, the constant calling for medications because the pain was so severe, and the almost month-long stay in the hospital, it hit me full force that something was really wrong. Words will never truly describe the emotions I was feeling, or the burden of my thoughts that I felt were too selfish to pass on anyone, so I kept them to myself.

When we finally got the diagnosis, we were surprised. PSC, otherwise known as Primary Sclerosing Cholangitis, is an incurable liver disease that affects the bile ducts which become scarred and inflamed, more likely than not lead to cirrhosis and an inevitable transplant. There was no cure, rather the only solution was a liver transplant, and even then the disease can be recurring.

I was thinking selfishly. I was torn in two. What would our future look like? Could we have children? Could we ever do the things we used to?

Loving someone with an incurable disease is a mix of emotions. There is a constant fear in the back of my mind that he is going to wake up in intense pain and have to be rushed to the hospital. There is a constant fear of every time waiting for the bi-weekly blood test results to come back, in fear that his Bilirubin spiked again or he is undergoing a flare up and needs to be hospitalized. There is a constant anxiety that one day he's going to be fine, and the next day he won't be. Even the simple things, such as laying beside one another, was a constant fear I had, due to the pain he was in every day. What if I hit him in my sleep on accident? What if I accidentally hugged a little too tightly and caused him pain?

Loving someone with an incurable disease can be a fluctuation of emotions, however, he makes it worth it.

nadoty
nadoty

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