It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia has become a cult TV show in the last decade. Creating a fresh brand of comedy in a world of sitcoms and reboots, the (somewhat) loveable goofball owners of Paddy's Pub have had some memorable moments.

One of them being the D.E.N.N.I.S system, which is the essential step-by-step handbook to any f**kboy as of the last five years. A closer look at the system's values and teachings can either please or upset you, yet Dennis Reynolds' perfect system when it comes to interacting with women is spot-on for any boy looking to become a f**kboy.

D. Demonstrate value

"Now, the first step to any erotic conquest is 'D'-demonstrate your value," Dennis first says to The Gang.

For all you future heartbreakers out there, this is a crucial step that should be followed. There are no shortcuts, only the system. You can start by approaching any female you are interested in and you meet her in Business class. You'll start saying the reason you're taking this class is so that you can start non-profit organizations for those in need after growing up in a world of entitlement and wealth.

Thus, my friends, you have demonstrated your value as a selfless human who is also not an entitled jerk from a rich family.


E. Engage physically

She and you have talked more and more since meeting each other, and you realize you must make your move at the right time to further these interactions.

You'll invite her over to, in all sincerity, "Netflix and Chill."

It's a bold move, but she realizes you're different than these other guys she sees every day, so she comes over to your place and you watch a movie together.

At one point she says, "This movie's good," and you'll reply, "You're the one that's good." She looks over at you and you both begin to kiss each other. The popcorn spills onto the floor as you begin to hook up.

Thus, my friends, you have engaged her physically for the first time.

N. Nurturing dependence

The first N in the system is actually not as crucial, although it is effective. This is where she starts to attach herself to you: depending on you for rides to places, wanting to talk about your feelings, blah blah blah...it varies, to be honest.

However, you make this cocoon of dependence that she begins to wrap herself in (without realizing).

Just don't slash her tires or tow her car away like Dennis did in this episode. A bit too much, bruh.

N. Neglect emotionally

This is the biggest part of the system: neglecting her emotionally, just as she was starting to warm up to you a little bit.

She texts you asking if you want to watch a movie, and you leave her on read. You'll cancel a study date with her for 'family issues' (which you and I both know is a ton of bullshit and you're actually hanging with friends that night). The business class you're both in, the one where you sit together, is now the class you avoid her in by sitting in the back rather in the second row next to her.


It's all getting to her, and she starts to wonder whether it's her personality or her self-esteem. You have thus neglected her emotionally.

I. Inspire hope

She and you haven't talked for a few weeks, which is the perfect time to come back into her life for the biggest part of the system: inspiring hope.

You'll text her that you need to talk after class, but she leaves you on read (again, this might vary). You'll manage to catch her entering her dorm hall, where you'll spill your guts about how you were afraid of her breaking your heart or how you were afraid she was just using you.

However, you manage to say "I don't believe in all that, though. I believe you and I are inseparable. I'm sorry."

She'll believe you, and the two of you kiss before entering her room (or something similar). You have inspired hope.

S. Separate entirely

That is it. You'll ignore her texts, Snapchats, everything. You'll sit in the way back of the business class now, and after a while, you'll forget about her. You had a good time while it lasted.

"That, my friends, is the key to winning any girl's heart" — Dennis Reynolds