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A Definitive Timeline of Your Formal

Brooke Rera

Apr 09, 2015

James Madison

With formal season soon approaching, you vow to stick to your gym routine and swear off junk food.

But then 3 am friday night comes around and you would want nothing more than a pizza to the face

The next step is finding a date which is a 2-part skill:

Part 1: Trying to get invited to a frat formal like...

Part 2: and then looking for someone to bring to yours...

Then have a 3 or 4 day internal debate of "Do I ask this cute guy in my class?"

Then decide to go with one of your guy friends because there's less stress and you know you two will have the best time and you won't have to babysit him all night

If you've scored the coveted invite to his formal, you have been handed the task of making "The Cooler". And at first you have so many ideas running through your head.

"It's going to be the best cooler anyone has ever laid eyes on." you think to yourself.

But then you realize your artistic ability stops at coloring books.

So you offer your first born child and a trip to chipotle to your artistic friend to help out.

The next step is finding the right outfit.

You've been procrastinating but finally order a dress online in the hopes that it'll be here in time for formal. But then it doesn't look as good as you thought it would and formal's in 3 days.

Now the day has come and you're already going over which poses to do for pictures, but then you pre game a little too hard and your pictures aren't all that you expected them to be.

You've lost track of time pre gaming with your friends and now you and your date have to run to make sure you make it to the busses and don't get left behind.

Then there's whatever sh*t show that occurs at the venue.

I feel like formal is kind of like Walmart in that you could be at an all time low and still not be the worst person there.

Except when you are the worst person there...then get ready for the email exec warned everyone about

Odds are, you'll end up losing your date every couple minutes and spending the majority of the time trying to find each other

Then, half way into formal, you're over it and just want to leave. Problem being that the busses don't leave for another hour and a half.

Lastly, inhale some well deserved munchies and recap the night.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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A Definitive Timeline of Your Formal

With formal season soon approaching, you vow to stick to your gym routine and swear off junk food.

But then 3 am friday night comes around and you would want nothing more than a pizza to the face

The next step is finding a date which is a 2-part skill:

Part 1: Trying to get invited to a frat formal like...

Part 2: and then looking for someone to bring to yours...

Then have a 3 or 4 day internal debate of "Do I ask this cute guy in my class?"

Then decide to go with one of your guy friends because there's less stress and you know you two will have the best time and you won't have to babysit him all night

If you've scored the coveted invite to his formal, you have been handed the task of making "The Cooler". And at first you have so many ideas running through your head.

"It's going to be the best cooler anyone has ever laid eyes on." you think to yourself.

But then you realize your artistic ability stops at coloring books.

So you offer your first born child and a trip to chipotle to your artistic friend to help out.

The next step is finding the right outfit.

Now the day has come and you're already going over which poses to do for pictures, but then you pre game a little too hard and your pictures aren't all that you expected them to be.

You've lost track of time pre gaming with your friends and now you and your date have to run to make sure you make it to the busses and don't get left behind.

Then there's whatever sh*t show that occurs at the venue.

Except when you are the worst person there...then get ready for the email exec warned everyone about

Odds are, you'll end up losing your date every couple minutes and spending the majority of the time trying to find each other

Then, half way into formal, you're over it and just want to leave. Problem being that the busses don't leave for another hour and a half.

Lastly, inhale some well deserved munchies and recap the night.

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Cs get degrees!

1. Me after every class

2. If you really care about your grades

3. When you get a new homework assignment

4. When people ask what you're going to do after college

5. When you see people who don't study and get good grades

6. We're all broke here

7. FREE FOOD IS FREE FOOD!

8. When it seems like everyone in class is smart - EXCEPT THE PEOPLE IN YOUR GROUP PROJECT!!

Other than knowledge and all those important things

How to take stairs.

Caffeine is your friend.

How to study.

Finding free food.

How to take a nap anywhere.

How to appreciate sleep.

How to procrastinate productively.

Surprise: This is not on the syllabus

1. As a freshman, one does get to be called “freshman” by upperclassmen when they walk to parties in a mob of people.

2. Some of the best stories happen after 2 a.m.

3. Upperclassmen live for meal swipes from freshman because they are poor and need free food.

4. People are struggling just as much as you are so you're not alone.

5. You will never take privacy or personal space for granted ever again.

6. You are not the only one who has slept on the community bathroom floor after a night out.

7. Skipping class for Netflix is a valid excuse.

8. It’s totally acceptable to bring a pot of coffee, a sleeping bag and a pillow to the library.

9. Having class with a friend is the best because you can trade off days on who goes to class.

10. When you are a senior, you take the easiest classes to boost your GPA.

11. How to pull an all-nighter.

12. How to handle drunk people.

13. The drunk you does not look out for sober you about 90 percent of the time.

14. How to deal with a hangover.

15. How to interact with people very different from you.

16. The perfect amount to procrastinate on every assignment.

17. How to pass a class without paying for the textbook that was "required."

18. How to calculate your grades to see what you need on every test in order to maintain a passing grade.

19. How to hook-up with someone without getting emotions involved (but we all know that doesn’t happen).

20. How to handle your roommate when you want to strangle them.

21. That you miss your parent’s every day.

22. How to get into a bar when you aren’t 21.

23. How to BS on assignments, out loud and on your resume.

24. That theme parties are the greatest.

25. How to find free events that have free food.

26. That when there are puppies on campus it will be the greatest day of your life.

27. Alarms are necessary and you must set like seven of them in order to wake up in time for class.

28. Greek parties are exactly how they are in movies.

29. Care packages are treated like Christmas presents.

30. The friends you meet in college will become your bridesmaids and groomsmen.

31. That printers only break when you need them the most.

32. Cereal, ramen noodles, Easy Mac and microwavable pancakes can be used for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

33. That classes before 8 a.m. should be illegal.

34. Changing your major is OK.

Don't let the thesaurus-inspired vocabularies in our résumés fool you. We're actually just big kids.

"You should know exactly what career is right for your future by the time you're 18."

"Save all your money."

"Get plenty of sleep and adjust to a regular sleep schedule."

"Make sure to eat healthy, balanced meals. Don't forget those fruits and vegetables."

"Surround yourself with good, moral people."

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