Any kid can tell you: not all candies are created equal. There is a definite hierarchy in every child's mind of the worst and best things to give out on Halloween. This was mine.

35. Whoppers

I know, I know, some of you guys are malt fans. However, I don’t think most kids are. This was the candy that I always gave away to my Dad because he was the only one in our family, including my mom, that liked these.

34. Candy Corn

Good gosh, do people still give these out? When was the last time these were manufactured, 1935? They taste like sweetened wax! No kid runs away from a house going “WOW I got candy corn!” I’m convinced that the sole purpose of candy corn is for decoration. It’d be like wrapping up those fake cobwebs into the shape of cotton candy and taking a big ole bite. No thank you.

33. Peeps Pumpkins

I understand giving Peeps around Easter. I really do. In our family, it was traditional to get Peeps rabbits around Easter. I would maybe eat one or two, but mostly I liked them because the rabbits were cute. Who thinks pumpkins are cute, though? Not enough people to justify the existence of Peeps Pumpkins.

32. Healthy Anything

Hear me: there is nothing more disappointing than going to a house and being handed a GRANOLA BAR. Thanks, man, if I wanted a granola bar, I would’ve asked my mom to go to Wal-Mart and she would’ve skipped down the aisle, happy that I wasn’t asking for Pop Tarts, unhealthy cereal, cake batter, or candy. I don’t know if the parents who hand these out are under the delusion that if they hand these out, that kids will eat them, or that if the other parents hear that they’re handing out bird seed this year, they’ll all band together in the future and all hand out healthy bird seed and the kids will have NO CHOICE but to eat it!!! MWAHAHAHAHA

31. Homemade Anything

Typically, if I was handed something handmade, my internal reaction would be, “Aww…that’s cute but disappointing.” Odds are good that your homemade cookie won’t stand a chance next to anything in the top ten. I might eat it, but what’ll probably happen is that the creation will get crushed at the bottom of my basket by the end of the night. It’s sweet, but sad.

30. Candy Corn

Just in case you forgot.

29. Money

Disclaimer: I am NOT opposed to getting money for Halloween as a college student. However, when I was seven I didn’t appreciate it. Unless it was a quarter that I could use for some bubblegum machine down the road, I had no use for it, and gave it to my parents.

28. Almond Joy

These are really only good to parents. Little kids just don’t like almonds, and a lot of them hate coconut. One year, I tried to like them because I thought it was sophisticated and unique to like Almond Joys, but when no one was looking I had to spit it out.

27. Crunch Bar

These were the things that everyone gave out, but no one wanted. Nearly every year, I’d have thirty or so of these suckers in my basket. Somehow they always get included in those giant bags of candy that parents hand out. My sisters didn’t even like them. We pooled them all and gave them to our parents.

26. Flavored Tootsie Rolls

No one likes these. Their wrapper might as well read, “Oh you thought I was a Tootsie Roll? GOTCHA!”

25. Now and Later

Have you ever heard a kid request to buy a “Now and Later?” Yeah, me neither.

24. Jawbreakers

I will say that these did have a use, at least. When I had eaten or given away all the rest of the candy, the Jawbreakers is what I would take to school. Why? If you managed to break a jawbreaker with witnesses, you got instant street cred with the bus riders. I was the baddest Jawbreaker champ on the block thanks to these lil guys.

23. Smarties

This is the point of the list where I wouldn’t give away the candy and would actually eat it. I think everyone gets why Smarties is on the very verge of this list.

22. Blow Pops/ Dum Dums (Preference: Mystery)

These were just okay. They would never BLOW me away, but I would eat them all the same. My preference was definitely for Mystery Dum Dums, because I liked the thrill of not knowing what I was eating, I guess.

21. Tootsie Rolls

I think I made myself like these because my dad loved them. In hindsight, Tootsie Rolls are just pretty basic.

20. Reese’s

It took me a long time to get used to the chocolate and peanut butter pairing. I don’t think I appreciated it until I was past trick or treating age. Sorry guys.

19. Dots

Okay, I might totally be alone on this one, but to this day, I still like Dots. Now, I won’t eat the orange ones. But I can still chow down on the red, pink, or yellow.

18. Junior Mints

These were just mildly disappointing. They were mints, so they were different than the other candy, which was nice. But they kinda tasted like toothpaste.

17. Laffy Taffy (Preference: Banana)

Laffy Taffy is just a classic. However, if they got warm and gummy, the packages would be impossible to open. They were okay, but a lot of times they weren’t worth the effort. Unless they were banana flavored, in which case they were always worth the effort.

16. Everlasting Gobstoppers

I’m convinced that the only reason I really liked these was because I liked to imagine that I was a kid in Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory.

15. Swedish Fish

I think you either love these or you hate these. I really love them, to be honest. They’re gummy, which means they’re satisfying to eat. Also, their flavor is great. I used to imagine that I was a bear cub in Brother Bear hunting for fish in the river, and I would eat these guys super messily to demonstrate the imaginary carnage.

14. Sweet Tarts

These were nice. However, after three packets I usually had to take a break.

13. Milk Duds

Once again, I could totally be alone on this, but I love Milk Duds. They’re still my overpriced candy of choice at the movie theater. They’re chewy and chocolate, which is a fairly rare combination. I’ve always liked chewy candy because I felt very satisfied when I ate them. It’s like they were resisting being eaten or something, and I felt like a winner whenever I ate them, anyways.

12. Chocolate Shaped Like Money

Once again, instant street creds if you pulled out chocolate shaped money out on the bus ride to school. No one respected actual money, but chocolate money…you might as well be an actual billionaire.

11. Skittles

I have nothing negative to say about skittles. They’re just a classic. If you went trick or treating and didn’t get any Skittles, you better get back out there because you probably only went to three houses.

10. Sour Patch Kids

I have to be honest here and admit that I didn’t like these growing up and I still don’t like them. When I was little, I had a bad experience with Sour Skittles at a concession stand (there were tears, y’all). Ever since then I couldn’t stand stuff with those little sour flakes dusting them. However, I know that these are some people’s favorite candy, so I had to at least include them in my top ten. You’re welcome, general public.

9. Rice Krispies

This is just plain creative. While they’re not candy, every little kid appreciates a good Rice Krispie. They work as snacks or candy, and they’re delicious. Bonus points if they have those little tiny chocolate flecks in them.

8. Airheads (Preference: Blue Raspberry)

These are just plain fun. Cool name, great flavors, gummy texture- airheads truly have it all. Plus, the commercials made them look really cool, which automatically bumped up their popularity.

7. Jolly Ranchers (Preference: Cherry or Blue Raspberry)

I really don’t think there’s a hard candy out there that can beat Jolly Ranchers. Everyone loves them, and everyone has strong opinions about them. The rivalry between Cherry, Blue Raspberry, Watermelon, Green Apple, and Grape goes decades deep. (Who likes Grape, though?) They’re an instant conversation starter. Bonus: they take forever to eat, so they last forever! I’d usually have ten of these left in the second week of November.

6. Nerds

It was good day when you got a Nerds box. They’re surprisingly rare during Halloween festivities, so we kids would get really excited when we found a house that passed these out. The best is when there are two flavors in one box so it never gets boring to eat. Additionally, the fact that these make a mess is a bonus for kids. You could find Nerds tucked under car seats or crammed in household crevices months after Halloween, a nice natural parent prank. They’re like the glitter of candy; they’re impossible to clean up entirely once they spill.

5. Twizzlers

There are two types here. There are the hard cherry kind, and the multiple stranded strawberry kind. I liked both, but the multiple stranded was more fun. But if you were that kid that just bit the multi stranded kind instead of peeling, we probably couldn’t have been friends.

4. M & M’s

Now these are the definition of classic. I don’t know of any people who just straight up hate these. I don’t know why you would, honestly. They’re crunchy, chocolately, and fabulous! I also was fooled into thinking that M & M’s had different flavors based on color (thanks, Dad). In that case, my favorite was the brown, just because I thought they must have more chocolate than the others because they were brown. More chocolate meant better, naturally.

3. Kit Kat

Kit Kats have everything going for them. They’re delicious AND fun to eat! You could try and break them to a beat of a song, or share them with a friend (JK) or have a debate about which side was better. They’re unlike the other candy bars, so they really deserve their own category here. Just fantastic.

2. Mini Candy Bars (Preference: Snickers)

This includes but is not limited to: Milky Way, Baby Ruth, Snickers, Twix, 3 Musketeers, Heath, Hershey’s Bars, etc. When I would receive these, I just felt like giving that parent a hug from the depths of my heart and blurting out, “THIS IS WHAT I ALWAYS WANTED HALLOWEEN TO BE LIKE!” I would deliberately hide these from my family while simultaneously trying to steal my sister’s, arguing that they couldn’t love them like I could. I was probably right.

1. Fun Dip (Preference: Blue Raspberry)

Let’s face it…you knew that a house was serious when it gave out Fun Dip. Nothing beats the rush of biting that white candy stick lightly dusted with blue raspberry powder. Our parents probably all hated the people that handed those out though, because we could stay on a sustained sugar high even longer than with pixie sticks. Bonus: blue tongues. ‘Nuff said.