According to Dictionary.com, the definition of loneliness is the state of being “affected with, characterized by, or causing a depressing feeling of being alone.” Everyone, at some point in their life, will feel lonely. No matter how many friends and loved ones one may have, loneliness has a tendency to creep into the heart because it is an internal matter.
I have experienced my fair share of loneliness. For most of my life, I have felt like an outsider. I never quite belonged. I’ve always had a loving family, wonderful friends, and a beautiful life, but sometimes after the sun set for the day, I would feel alone. It’s not because I felt unloved or undervalued; I felt lonely I was a lone wolf in sheep’s clothing, amongst a flock of sheep. I felt as if everyone I loved was inside a house and I was stuck on the outside, staring through the window.
I soon became use to this loneliness; it was that old friend that one always disliked but still hung out with on a regular basis. Still, I continued to try to fit in and gain acceptance, yet loneliness was always there, poking at my shoulder, laughing deviously. It was a sad time, to be honest. As I lived in loneliness, I began to think a lot about what it meant for one to be lonely. I only saw the cons to loneliness. I defined the state of loneliness as being misunderstood, different, and unable to fully feel a part of something.
It wasn’t until recently when I finally began to gain some perspective and lose some sadness about the loneliness that followed me around. Due to growing up and not being able to find Neverland, I found myself meeting several people who were loners like me, and they taught me something very important. Even though we suffered from the same heart condition, none of us completely understood each other. We struggled differently, felt differently, and operated differently. It was this that made me realize that we are all alone when it comes to the deepest matters of the heart. No one can possibly know all the thoughts that spiral inside of our minds. Our thoughts and feelings are so unique and complex; it would be an insult if someone understood and accepted everything about us, but it is also heartbreaking that no one can ever truly know someone else.
It’s an interesting paradox; no one is alone in being alone because everyone is alone. If this is the case, then the definition of loneliness changes entirely. To be alone is to be human. Loneliness is universal. It gives us a chance to self-reflect. It makes us realize that we all misunderstand each other, but that doesn’t mean we don’t belong here. I used to hate feeling lonely, yet I now believe that loneliness strengthens us. It enables us to realize our true emotional state. It can make us more empathetic to the loneliness of others. It empowers us to work harder on improving ourselves and society. I am a lonely person, and that’s okay because my loneliness has shaped my life and worldview for the better. Being lonely has allowed given me the key to the house because if we all misunderstand and feel alone, we fit right into the world of loners and misfits.
