Often times people struggle with their self-worth and self-value. To our own eyes, we are never good enough.

Too many people are quick to define themselves by their relationship status, their job status, or by the amount of friends they have. If you have more friends, you are more special; or if you don’t have a significant other you don’t fit in.

Well, you are more than that.

As a confident, stand-up person, I like to think I know my worth and value, however, many others don’t.

When we hear about self-value and self-worth, we think of maybe middle school aged kids or high schoolers that are struggling with their identity. As I‘ve grown older and started college, I’ve noticed that it is still an issue for a lot of people. At first, when I hear someone worrying too much about what others’ think or how many friends they have, it’s infuriating. We’re adults now. But I realize it doesn’t go away as easily as I may think.

The amount of times I tell my friends, “you don’t need a boyfriend” or “you have enough friends” will never be enough to truly convince them. Though these thoughts tend to get better with age and experience, they can never disappear until you come to terms with it and identify yourself. For some, it might take longer than others.

Friends, boyfriends, and jobs and things that fall into place once we know who we are and where we are going. To find the best friends, boyfriends, jobs, etc. we must sit back and let them come to us.

God has a plan for everyone and where is your faith if you keep worrying and second-guessing that? It is easier said than done but we are the one’s who build our foundation, God and us. Friends and boyfriends and other materialistic things that people allow to define them are just smaller parts of the bigger picture. If we are true to whom we are and to God, our friends will find us - life will find us.

Who we are and how much value we have as a person does not depend on where we go to school, who are friends are, or who we’re dating.

Society has set norms for people and if you don’t meet the norms you are lacking something in your life. The more you go out to search for whatever it is you think you’re lacking, the more likely you are to lose it. You are already who you are supposed to be, who God meant for you to be, you just have to take a look inside yourself to accept it. What is here on Earth is not what makes you who you are. Yes, there are tools and fruit here to help fulfill you, but they don’t make you, you.

When I see someone reaching out trying to find a significant other, trying to have the most friends or get involved in the most things, it’s infuriating. Why can’t they see what everyone else sees? You should never lower your standards or take a step backward because you want to fit in. We shouldn’t throw ourselves away for the sake of someone or something else.

We need to start viewing ourselves as God sees us and made us and not let earthly perceptions and values stand in the way.

“People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart”
1 Samuel 16:7