Defining Your Value

Defining Your Value

Know your self-worth.

Often times people struggle with their self-worth and self-value. To our own eyes, we are never good enough.

Too many people are quick to define themselves by their relationship status, their job status, or by the amount of friends they have. If you have more friends, you are more special; or if you don’t have a significant other you don’t fit in.

Well, you are more than that.

As a confident, stand-up person, I like to think I know my worth and value, however, many others don’t.

When we hear about self-value and self-worth, we think of maybe middle school aged kids or high schoolers that are struggling with their identity. As I‘ve grown older and started college, I’ve noticed that it is still an issue for a lot of people. At first, when I hear someone worrying too much about what others’ think or how many friends they have, it’s infuriating. We’re adults now. But I realize it doesn’t go away as easily as I may think.

The amount of times I tell my friends, “you don’t need a boyfriend” or “you have enough friends” will never be enough to truly convince them. Though these thoughts tend to get better with age and experience, they can never disappear until you come to terms with it and identify yourself. For some, it might take longer than others.

Friends, boyfriends, and jobs and things that fall into place once we know who we are and where we are going. To find the best friends, boyfriends, jobs, etc. we must sit back and let them come to us.

God has a plan for everyone and where is your faith if you keep worrying and second-guessing that? It is easier said than done but we are the one’s who build our foundation, God and us. Friends and boyfriends and other materialistic things that people allow to define them are just smaller parts of the bigger picture. If we are true to whom we are and to God, our friends will find us - life will find us.

Who we are and how much value we have as a person does not depend on where we go to school, who are friends are, or who we’re dating.

Society has set norms for people and if you don’t meet the norms you are lacking something in your life. The more you go out to search for whatever it is you think you’re lacking, the more likely you are to lose it. You are already who you are supposed to be, who God meant for you to be, you just have to take a look inside yourself to accept it. What is here on Earth is not what makes you who you are. Yes, there are tools and fruit here to help fulfill you, but they don’t make you, you.

When I see someone reaching out trying to find a significant other, trying to have the most friends or get involved in the most things, it’s infuriating. Why can’t they see what everyone else sees? You should never lower your standards or take a step backward because you want to fit in. We shouldn’t throw ourselves away for the sake of someone or something else.

We need to start viewing ourselves as God sees us and made us and not let earthly perceptions and values stand in the way.

“People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart”
1 Samuel 16:7
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12 Bible Verses For Faith In Hard Times

Remind yourself that God is always with you.

Lately, I have felt lost at what God wants for my life. Ever since I've come back to UWG everything has been horrible. It seems that I can't catch a break. I'm trying my best to focus on school, work, and extracurricular activities. But it's hard when I'm having issues with my apartment/roommates and knowing my family back home is struggling and needs many prayers. All, I keep thinking is maybe Carrollton isn't where I belong anymore. I've asked God if He can guide me in the right direction. Below, I have found Bible verses that have helped get me through these rough, past couple of weeks.

1. Isaiah 43:2

"When you go through deep waters, I will be with you."

2. Psalm 37:5

"Commit your way to the Lord. Trust in Him, and He will act."

3. Romans 8:18

"The pain that you've been feeling, can't compare to the joy that's coming."

4. Proverbs 31:25

"She is clothed in strength, and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future."

5. Joshua 1:9

"Be bold. Be brave. Be courageous."

6. Ecclesiastes 3:1

"There is a time for everything and a reason for every activity under the heavens."

7. Isaiah 41:10

"Don't be afraid, for I am with you. Don't be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand."

8. Isaiah 66:9

"I will not cause pain without allowing something new to be born, says the Lord."

9. Psalm 91:4

"He will cover you with His feathers, and under His wings, you will find refuge; His faithfulness will be your shield and rampart."

10. Psalm 62:1-2

"My soul finds rest in God alone, my salvation comes from Him, He alone is my rock and my salvation."

11. Philippians 4:13

"I can do everything through Christ who gives me strength."

12. Jeremiah 29:11

"For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

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When We Allow God To Control Our Motives And Goals, Our Desires Are Aligned With Him

Having eternal motives will always be more fulfilling than having fleshly ones.


As humans, we tend to set goals. Goals are things we can work toward to give us a sense of accomplishment once we have achieved them. And behind every goal is a motive. A motive is defined as a reason for doing something.

The underlying question behind motives is whether one is being selfish or compassionate.

Because we live in a sinful world, our motives are often distorted by sin — making them fleshly motives rather than eternal motives. Our faulty motives will produce faulty goals. We often have faulty motives that are from temporal desires, and these are often selfish.

These faulty motives are not fruitful or abundant. They become things that will never be fulfilling — motives that will leave us empty.

But, when we are able to have motives that are eternally focused and aligned with God's will, we begin to realize that shift from emptiness to God's fulfillment within us. You will see that God is on your side, and He is working within you to fulfill those goals.

Philippians 2:13 says, "For God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases him."

When we consult God in our motives, they are often compassionate. They also become more pure in accordance to God's purposes.

Proverbs 16:2 says, "All a person's ways seem pure to them, but motives are weighed by the Lord."

Our human hearts without God are easily misguided, and we may even pretend to act for the benefit of God or other individuals, when in reality, we are being selfish. God knows the true intentions of our heart and that we may act because of negative motives. Pride, bitterness and revenge are all motives of the flesh and are not pleasing to God.

This is such a hard thing to steer away from because we ARE human, after all, and we do have emotions. It's what we do with those emotions that can decide whether we cross the line of being sinful or not.

So, what can we do to evaluate our motives?

  1. If no one was watching what I was doing, would I still do it?
  2. If I had to suffer to continue doing what God had called me to do, would I keep doing it?
  3. Am I doing this for praise or to make me feel good about myself?
  4. If I never get recognition, will I still do it?

I am not telling you that it is bad to have personal satisfactions, like a vacation. But motivation can turn into a concern when we are not honest about why we try to accomplish goals. When we want to obey God, but our hearts are hardened to the things He wants to show us, God knows. When we are at that stage of life, we are only deceiving ourselves and others around us.

Galatians 5 tells us to walk in the Spirit. When Jesus died and rose again, He left us with a Helper: the Holy Spirit. We are never alone in our motives and goals. The Holy Spirit can even guide us when we have received eternal motives and goals.

When we allow God to control our motives and goals, then our desires are aligned with Him.

Psalm 73:26 says, "My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever."

Our goals have to align with the mission of God. We must aspire goals that please God. Our motives must be consistent with our efforts to achieve that goal, and we must remain fixed on Jesus while accomplishing it. We are to accept and honor God and His will for our lives. We ask and we receive a goal to act upon.

Jesus said in John 13:17 that you are blessed if you do the will of God. But, honoring God while we are in pursuit of the goals He has laid out for us takes a whole lot of courage.

It takes courage and willingness to take action, especially if the outcome is uncertain. Such courage is attained only as we develop a lifestyle of depending on God.

So, my prayer for whoever reads this is that you do depend on God in every season of life — that you depend on God no matter what the outcome may be, and that you have courage and boldness to get through this season.

Because friend, I promise that God's desires are far better than what our human hearts could ever desire.

Psalm 37:4 "Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart."

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