Just last night, I was having a conversation with a couple of my roommates about singleness (which I've noticed has also been a common topic of discussion on Odyssey). And we all came to the same realization, which was a super helpful reminder: not being in serious relationships with guys has allowed us to totally pour into our friendships with each other and with Christ. You can certainly do this even if you are in a relationship, but the whole thing can be a lot simpler when you're single.
Then, this morning, I come across this article on Facebook written by Jordan Lee, author Soul Scripts blog. One part of her article that really hit home was this: "I'd rather remind you that there's a reason God has you where you are, that you're appreciated, and you're current role is needed in big and mighty ways. You are needed as you are, right now, flying solo, individual, and independent."
Ahh, singleness. This is something that I've wrestled with over the past few years. I often catch myself thinking that I won't feel truly happy and content until I'm in a relationship. But if I feel "incomplete" without a relationship, why do I think I'll feel "complete" when my relationship status changes? It's dangerous territory to place your identity and happiness in someone else.
What I've come to realize is that I have all the head knowledge in knowing that my value is in Christ and I'm complete in Him. What I struggling with the most is turning that into heart knowledge.
Instead of living in frustration with being single, I want to enjoy my independence and focus how I can grow in my relationship with Christ and as a person. I want to take advantage of opportunities that may not present themselves if I'm focused on a relationship or married. This period of waiting has also given me time to reflect on what I truly want in a Godly guy and future spouse. I often times want to take control of the reigns, but God often reminds me to relax and be patient. Let me tell ya, patience isn't always easy!
But one day, all in God's timing, I will no longer find myself wondering when a relationship will come my way. So for now, I'm going to learn how to be complete in Christ and how to find rest in that comfort. Whether you're single, in a relationship, engaged, married, or have an "it's complicated" status on Facebook, know that you are never defined by your relationship status.
At the end of the day, your identity doesn't come from a guy who buys you flowers, but from the One who created you!