We go through life trying to figure out who we are and what defines who we are. As humans, we long and desire to have a purpose in life. We look to define ourselves through jobs, activities, or even who we decide to have relationships with.
In October of 2015, I started dating this guy. Things were great! He loved God, he loved me, and he made me feel special. He was the one to show me how I should be treated, and what I deserved. In February of 2016, he broke up with me. It hurt and I was devastated. For the longest time, I tried to figure out where things went wrong, and that is when I realized I was allowing this relationship to define who I was. I realized God had made me to be so much more than a relationship. When I realized this, I realized a breakup can be just as good as the relationship. After the breakup, I really started getting into Jefferson Bethke's videos. There is a video he and his wife did called "Don't Settle When You're Dating." In this video, he said something that really hit home. He said, "Break-ups can be exactly what God wanted, that they can be so hard that that is what it takes for God to get to the center of our soul, and we can face up to real things we need to grow in." After a while I was very thankful for the breakup, because I needed to grow in my relationship with God, allow Him to show me what should define me, and to show me who I was in Him.
In Matthew 16, we see the story where Jesus asks his disciples who people say that He is. Then they reply and say that some say that some say He is John the Baptist; others say Elijah; and still others, Jeremiah or one of the profits (Matt. 16:14). Then Jesus asks them who they say He is. Peter answers and says that He is the Messiah, the Son of the Living God. Jesus is pleased with Peter and tells him that he is the rock on which He will build His church. What I found interesting about this was that when we declare who God really is this is when He shows us who we are. This is why I made peace with what happened. I was more focused on God and listened to Him. By listening, I was able to figure out who I was, and what defines me.
Don't go through life allowing things like a relationship define who you are. Allow God to work in you, and show you who you are. When you have found who you are, and what defines you then God will give you what His best is for you. When two people have a better understanding of who they are as individuals that is when a relationship will work, and be glorifying to God.
