Okay, so “How I Met Your Mother” is my favorite TV show. I love the characters, humor, running gags, and important life messages the show conveys.

To recap the ending, we see Ted meet his future wife Tracy—the kids’ mother—at the Farhampton train station, just after leaving Robin and Barney’s wedding. At this point, he still thinks Robin should be with him, and so he feels very sad and lost. Still, he meets Tracy, they share a cute introduction, and it’s clear they’re perfect for each other. They get married, have their two kids (though not quite in that order), and so begin their life together.

We learn that Robin and Barney end up getting divorced, Barney has a child with another woman, and as the years pass, “the gang” of Marshall, Lily, Barney, Robin, Ted, and Tracy, doesn’t convene nearly as much as it once did.

And of course, the ultimate ending, was tragic: Tracy gets sick and dies.

On top of that, it is implied at the end—in the year 2030—that Ted will get back together with Robin.

The first time I watched it, I was truly devastated. I had been a devoted fan of the show, and I was so incredibly excited for that final episode when I would see how everything turned out. I mean—come on—they can’t do that, can they?

The first argument I wish to make in defense of the ending may seem rather negligible, but I think it helps support my later points. We find out that as of 2030, the year in which Ted is telling his kids the story, Tracy has been gone six years. I am not suggesting that time can heal her loss: it can’t. I’m only proposing that the family has had some time, six years worth, to mourn and grow.

Though we never see any of it unfold onscreen, just think of how much can happen in six years. For Ted’s daughter, Penny, who would be 15 in 2030, it would have been all of her preteen and teen years. Ted’s son Luke was born in 2017, making him 13 in 2030: six years was almost half of his life. Furthermore, for these years, Ted has had to cope with single fatherhood.

I’m not saying the family has moved on, I’m just saying that they have moved.

To take the argument further, and perhaps suggest that the family hasmoved on just enough, Penny says, “Come on Dad, Mom’s been gone for six years now, it’s time,” when she is encouraging him to go after Robin. She is suggesting that for their family, enough time has gone by for Ted to move forward and try things out with someone else.

So in that way, there is nothing wrong with Ted and Robin getting back together.

In order to convey my second argument, I want to emphasize that the title of the show is “How I Met Your Mother” not “My Life With Your Mother.”

The show is not about the mother, except for on a few occasions. It’s about Ted. It’s about his life, and what happened to him from 2005 to 2014 when he meets Tracy. It’s about how he pursued architecture, became a teacher, designed a Manhattan skyscraper, spent a lot of time at his favorite bar MacLaren’s, flashbacked a lot, pulled some crazy stunts, and learned a lot about himself and the world. I’m not trying to downplay the incredible moments when Ted’s life and Tracy’s life overlapped: they absolutely did. I would even go as far as to say that yes, their marriage was meant to be. But the show is not about their marriage or their life together. It’s about Ted’s life. Don’t forget, Penny and Luke were present for their parents’ marriage. They don’t need to hear that story.

Additionally, at the end, Penny says, “Let’s look at the facts here. You made us sit down and listen to the story about how you met Mom, yet Mom is hardly in the story. No. This is a story about how you’re totally in love with Aunt Robin.” And that captures my point.

I will be the first to admit that I didn't like Ted and Robin as a couple—still don’t. To be honest, I’ll probably never get over it. Their relationship didn't work out on several occasions. They often disagreed and they wanted different things throughout their lives. But it was what it was. There was always a connection between them. There’s no doubt about that.

Having mourned the loss of Tracy for six years, and having told his kids the story of how he met her, Robin was there, on his mind and in his story. She never truly went away.

I can’t believe I’m saying this but the show doesn’t owe us the mother in the way that we think it does: it owes us Ted’s story. And that’s what we got.

To start explaining my third and final point, I want to bring in the Robin-Barney situation.

Robin and Barney got married. We know, we watched, we saw. In fact, anyone who watched any part of the ninth season would know, because literally the entire season took place the weekend of their wedding.

Their marriage was a big deal, much anticipated and loved by many. Most, I would even argue.

Unfortunately, it didn’t work out: they divorced after three years. I was appalled the first time I watched this. I was SURE after they announced their divorce and the show went to a commercial, that it was all just a joke. When it wasn’t, I still thought it was. Only after watching it a few times did I accept it as the truth.

However, I want to mention that during the divorce announcement, Barney describes their marriage as a “very successful marriage that only lasted three years.”

Thus begins my point: life happens.

We could have never predicted it, but Robin and Barney’s lives changed. For a long time, they wanted the same things and they wanted to be with each other. But after a few years, they wanted different things, and so their marriage ultimately didn’t work out.

Similarly, who would have thought that Barney would become a father? But it happened. It changed his life. And as far as we can tell, he enjoyed being a father. It suited him. It even allowed him to grow out of his playboy ways. He could not have had kids with Robin, which is not the reason that their marriage didn’t work out, but still allows there to be a silver lining to their divorce. Had they not gotten divorced, Barney would have never had his daughter, whom he loved.

Now on to Ted and Robin. Their relationship was controversial, and so for reality’s sake, I’ll just lay it all out on the table: they were on and off, they loved each other, maybe Robin didn’t (?), Robin loved Barney, she married Barney, Ted was sad, Ted married someone else, Ted was happy, Robin and Barney’s marriage didn’t work out, they got divorced, Ted’s wife died, and he ended up with Robin. This sounds terrible: I would agree. But I’m going to argue that it’s not.

Ted and Robin were always friends. He truly did love her from the beginning, but she wasn’t all that interested. She wanted to be with Barney, and I do believe that she loved him. She wanted to travel, focus on her career, and not have children. And so for a period of their lives, Ted and Robin were not meant to be. Robin and Barney were. And so were Ted and Tracy.

They all got what they wanted for a while. It was all about timing.

But then lifehappened. Robin and Barney’s careers became more complicated and they couldn’t make their marriage work.

And of course, Tracy became very sick and passed away. Rather than give an argument for this one, I’ll analyze Ted’s: “It was at times a long, difficult road. But I'm glad it was long and difficult, because if I hadn't gone through hell to get there, the lesson might not have been as clear. You see, kids, right from the moment I met your mom, I knew... I have to love this woman as much as I can for as long as I can, and I can never stop loving her, not even for a second”...”And I carried it with me when she got sick. Even then, in what can only be called the worst of times, all I could do was look at her and thank God, thank every god there is, or ever was, or will be, and the whole universe, and anyone else I can possibly thank that I saw that beautiful girl on that train platform, and that I had the guts to stand up, walk over to her, tap her on the shoulder, open my mouth, and speak.”

Through his entire journey, Ted learned how important it is to love the people we have in our lives, even when it isn’t easy to do so. He also learned how important it is—sorry for the cliché—to seize the moment, “to open [your] mouth, and speak.”

He met his wife that way, he loved her as much as he could, and then ultimately—whether we like it or not—he got back together with Robin that way. He took initiative, and opted to begin a new chapter in his life.

So much of the show has Ted going out on limbs, doing crazy things to impress girls, doing even crazier things to justify his craziness, and ultimately getting put down time and time again. But he kept going for it. He kept going after what he wanted, which was a family of his own. True, it ended unfortunately. But he did get what he wanted.

I can’t justify death, so I’ll end my argument by justifying life. Life happens. It just does. It can throw some pretty messed up curveballs and it can suck.Timing doesn’t always work out and it can feel like the world is against us. That’s why it’s important to love those we have in our lives as much as you can. And that’s just what Ted did, even after he lost his wife.

Tracy didn’t have to die. I realize that. The writers could have kept her alive.

But I would agree with Ted's line: “If [he] hadn't gone through hell to get there, the lesson might not have been as clear.”

Among other things, the show teaches us—in an incredibly raw way—to accept the timing of our lives and to do with it the very best that we can.