I was a big wine fan for a long time (Pinot Grigio or Vinho Verde only—red gives me a headache), but in an attempt to slim down I switched over to vodka and seltzer. I am a big seltzer fan anyway, so why not spike it (and no, I do not mean those gross malt- liquor seltzers they have now, those things are gross)? During my last trip to California, I spied Deep Eddy’s Ruby Red flavor, and a love affair blossomed (though, full disclosure, my friend Janette did introduce me to the brand a full year and a half before, when she sent me a nip of the Lemon flavor). So here, I will rank all the Deep Eddy flavors, which I believe only have about 70 calories per serving (in any event, it’s a lot less than wine).

1. Ruby Red

This is the one. Rich grapefruit flavor, but not too tart, it tastes great with lime seltzer (I prefer La Croix for my mixed drinks, but being a New Englander, I sometimes reach for Polar brand). A few weeks ago I went to Lake Winnipesaukee with my ex-husband’s family (we’re all close! It’s a thing that can happen!) and even the little liquor store in town had this flavor, and this flavor only. The clerk even said, sensing my excitement, “This is the only vodka.” Girl, you know it.

2. Peach

You may try the peach flavor and think to yourself, “This has the sweetness and consistency of ipecac, what is this girl on about?” You just have to get used to it. It may seem way too saccharine at first, but you can’t drink it on the rocks. Club soda (or a seltzer of course—I believe I used the peach-pear La Croix) and some ice makes this peach vodka a lovely summer treat.

3. Original

Recently I had a cookout, and the aforementioned Janette brought me a bottle of the regular flavor, which came in a cool commemorative tin. Well, I am not rolling in expendable vodka dough, so when I ran out of my standby, I reached for this. And I was very happy that Janette loves me. Really, just throw it in anything that requires vodka, and you’re good to go.

4. Lemon

Lemon flavored things aren’t really my favorite, but this is great in lemonade. Or Arnold Palmers. Or on the rocks. There is not much to say about lemon vodka. It tastes like lemons. It is not too lemon-y, though, and it is not too tart.

5. Cranberry

When I first bought this flavor, thinking I should expand my danged horizons, I thought it was ok. I put some in lime seltzer (I am not very creative when it comes to drinking) and was like, Sure, this works. Well, the more I drank it, the more I hated it (which is usually not how drinking works). It’s just too cranberry-ish. I want to unwind, not treat a UTI. It’s just too tart. I finished the bottle, obviously, but never again, friends. Never again.

6. Sweet Tea

I have no idea how the sweet tea flavor tastes. After the cranberry fiasco, I went back to ruby red, and that’s where I am staying.

Anyway, there you have it—my favorite brand of vodka, all the flavors ranked. Remember to drink responsibly!