Last week I had the once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to travel to Bonaire, a Dutch Caribbean island off the coast of Venezuela. After twelve hours of traveling, I found myself stepping out into the warmest, least humid breeze I'd felt in years. Not long after, I stood at the top of a ladder, looking down into the crystal-clear Caribbean water as it smashed rhythmically into the rocks behind our villa. And I froze.
I, a lifeguard for seven years, a swimmer for ten, and then a coach of my own team for three. I am terrified of deep water, of dark water, and especially of deep, dark water. If I can't see or touch the bottom, I'm not going in. Yet here I was, facing clear water whose depth I knew. I put on my mask and snorkel and lowered myself in: first fear overcome. The next challenge came as I put my face in the water and, seconds later, pulled it out; I'd been holding my breath. One of my greatest fears, despite my swimming background, is drowning. I was not about to attempt to breathe underwater. But I did. My heart pounding, I felt my throat tighten as I pulled air from the surface and through my snorkel: second fear overcome.
Over the next few hours and into the next day, I gradually pushed myself further from land and closer to the drop off that loomed ahead. I eventually conquered my apprehension towards freediving (why would you purposefully fill your snorkel with water?) and was inhibited only by my ears' intolerance for depth.
The next snorkeling challenge came not in the ocean, but in even darker, deeper water: a cave. After analyzing my fears of the ocean, I concluded that they came from both a fear of the unknown and claustrophobia. What better place to face my fears than a cave, hundreds of feet underground, in water deeper than I wanted to know, lit only by the flashlight I held in my hand!
With a few deep breaths and a lot of talking to myself, I pushed myself--but really, the opening was pretty small--into the cave, into the water, and overall, through a great experience.
As our trip came to an end, I boarded the plane with a phone full of incredible underwater pictures and a new-found confidence in myself.
As I searched for inspirational quotations about overcoming fear, I found one that really struck me. Eleanor Roosevelt is quoted as saying, "[You] gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing which you think you cannot do."
These words could not better sum up the things I gained from my experiences in Bonaire. I truly never believed that I could or would snorkel in a cave. I never thought I would venture from the coast as far as I did. And because I looked fear in the face, I was able to experience incredible things.
Regardless of the origin or the size of your fears, remember that fear is, as a Japanese proverb reminds us, only as deep as the mind allows. Fear holds us back from amazing experiences that begin just beyond our comfort some. What are your fears?
