Coming home from the Disney College Program (DCP) is a bittersweet feeling for most, but more on the bitter side. Particularly for me it was really bitter. I had made almost a life-altering mistake before accepting my invitation to the DCP. I was lucky enough to have the support and courage to fix the mistake, learn from it, and move on. Though my mistake was fixed, something inside me was still broken.

Throughout my program I learned or “discovered” myself. That broken piece of me was mending itself together. I learned how to genuinely laugh again. I learned how to smile and to go with the flow. I learned how to brush things off and figure out the kind of person I wanted to be. This was all thanks to Walt Disney, my location, my roommates, and the individuals I worked with.

Before my program started I was with a young man. I expressed my concerns about losing our relationship if I accepted this program. However, he told me we would work it out since he was in boot camp for the Army. I believed in what he was telling me and in the strength of our relationship and accepted the program. I personally did not want to stay and told myself to do things I wanted to do and not for a guy.

Our relationship was rocky. Most of our communication was from snail mail. In the middle of my program we broke up and it hurt more than I thought it would or that I would like to admit. That was the final piece that broke me, but yet, it is what saved me. After that day my days were brighter and my true smile came back. I learned to laugh and have fun while figuring out who I wanted to be. I was told by my ex that maybe if I had stayed home we would’ve worked out. That baffled me and honestly I do not regret going because I did the DCP for myself and no one else.

My program was coming to a close and I had the opportunity to extend my program for another 6 months. I truly wanted to stay but something inside me told me to go back to school, so I did. When I came back to school something inside me was missing, the DCP. I did not feel like the same girl but I had only been home 10 days. I ended up applying for another DCP when a young man named Alex Tatum came into my life.

Alex made me feel unlike any other way I had felt before. He treated me with respect, made me feel special, and showed me he cared in many different ways I had never seen before. With all these wonderful feelings came the hardest decision I have ever made. I got accepted for another DCP. I expressed my feelings and concerns to Alex since we had just started to date. As remembering my previous program I did not want to make my decision based off a guy but it felt right with Alex.

I asked Alex what he thought I should do and him putting me first said, “Whatever you think is best.” I knew that was the response I’d get so I asked him what he truly wanted me to do and I got the response I was hoping for, “I want you to stay. But asking you to stay is selfish.” Though I wanted to go to my program, I also wanted to feel wanted like every human being does. I felt better and more like myself coming back from my program and I wanted to see if Alex and I worked out. So, I declined my opportunity and I guess became a hypocrite.

I was a strong believer in doing what you want and not for a guy. If I had stayed the first time I would’ve been broken up with and not doing the DCP for some guy I trusted potentially. However, it felt right with Alex. I declined the opportunity for myself and for him. While that may sound hypocritical there is no other explanation than love.

If love does not convince you then here is this little story. Alex and I are still together. His mom took us, herself, and 6 other family members to Disney World for a week doing New Year’s. On New Year’s Eve Alex got done on one knee and proposed to me. He got a special glass slipper made with a gold phrase engraved into it. If that was not enough he surprised me with my mom and dad at Disney World to see the proposal and join in on the celebration. If that was not enough, his mom gave him her wedding ring to use her diamonds for my ring. This made the ring all that more special.

My story could have gone all different directions, but I truly got lucky. Declining the DCP was the best thing I could have done. I got two wonderful dogs, a fiancé, a new family, and many incredible memories. The real lesson is not to do what a guy wants, but it is what you want to do and what you think is best given all the variables. I would not change a single thing!