Decision 2016: The New Face Of America
Start writing a post
Politics and Activism

Decision 2016: The New Face Of America

A not-so-typical look at this year's line-up.

48
Decision 2016: The New Face Of America
Wordpress

Unless you’ve been pulling a Patrick Star and living under a rock for the past year, you are probably aware that we have a presidential election coming up in the fall.

This election will be a monumental one, no matter who wins. If Clinton wins, she will be the first woman president. If Sanders wins, he will be the first Jewish president. If Cruz wins, he will be the Hispanic president. If Trump wins, he will be the first Oompa-Loompa to ever be elected to public office.

Since this election will be so monumental, American children will be studying it in their history books for generations to come, and image matters, even if the images are coming from decades before his or her presidential reign. Therefore, it is time to take a moment to focus on a very important, often overlooked (if the candidate is male) quality: the hotness factor of our Prez-to-be.

Looking back, we’ve had some downright studs as president. Take, for example, Rutherford B. Hayes. What is Rutherford B. Hayes famous for doing while in office? I bet if I asked you to name one policy he enacted, you would not be able to.


However, his legacy lives on through this famous photo.

More like Rutherford B. Hey How You Doin'.

Or what about FDR, especially back in his prime? I’d certainly strike up a New Deal with that handsome fellow.

Of course you can’t forget about ol' Reags. Well, the GOP never seems to be able to anyway. At Eureka college, Reagan’s alma mater, banners with this picture are everywhere. Let’s just say that I wouldn’t be able to focus too much on my studies if that’s where I attended college.

Best for last:

I can't even think of anything witty to say about JFK, only that is incredibly depressing to be falling in love with someone who died 40 years before I was born.

So how do our current candidates line up? They obviously have some big shoes to fill.

Bernie Sanders

I’m a sucker for a curly mop of hair, so I’m obviously biased, but young Bernie does have a bit of a hipster vibe here, especially in the glasses. Also, look at the passion in his eyes! Passion is always a plus in a relationship.

Hillary Clinton is confusing, because first you have...

who seems like poster child for a proper 1960s American youth, but then you have...

who seems like a rebellious seventies wild child. Hillary probably went through a phase in college. It happens; I got some piercings and dyed my hair black, so I completely understand.

Young Donald Trump

Something is off about this photo. It might be because his head looks too big for his body, or because despite the fact that he is blessed with youth in this photo, he still has his signature comb-over.

Or it might be the fact that he is inexplicably holding a dove. Why, Donald? Why?

I don’t know what I was expecting when I Googled “Young Ted Cruz,” but I was actually pleasantly surprised.

Cruz looks like that cute awkward guy from high school who blushes every time a girl makes eye contact with him. He even looks a little bit like Andrew Garfield. The only off-putting thing about this photo is the fact that his smile seems so forced. Maybe it’s because he is carrying a heavy weight in his conscience, possibly from being the Zodiac Killer?! Well, innocent until proven guilty, I suppose...

So no matter who you vote for in the caucuses or in the actual election later in the year, remember: your vote will impact the image of this nation for centuries to come. Choose wisely, friends.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
the beatles
Wikipedia Commons

For as long as I can remember, I have been listening to The Beatles. Every year, my mom would appropriately blast “Birthday” on anyone’s birthday. I knew all of the words to “Back In The U.S.S.R” by the time I was 5 (Even though I had no idea what or where the U.S.S.R was). I grew up with John, Paul, George, and Ringo instead Justin, JC, Joey, Chris and Lance (I had to google N*SYNC to remember their names). The highlight of my short life was Paul McCartney in concert twice. I’m not someone to “fangirl” but those days I fangirled hard. The music of The Beatles has gotten me through everything. Their songs have brought me more joy, peace, and comfort. I can listen to them in any situation and find what I need. Here are the best lyrics from The Beatles for every and any occasion.

Keep Reading...Show less
Being Invisible The Best Super Power

The best superpower ever? Being invisible of course. Imagine just being able to go from seen to unseen on a dime. Who wouldn't want to have the opportunity to be invisible? Superman and Batman have nothing on being invisible with their superhero abilities. Here are some things that you could do while being invisible, because being invisible can benefit your social life too.

Keep Reading...Show less
Featured

19 Lessons I'll Never Forget from Growing Up In a Small Town

There have been many lessons learned.

80717
houses under green sky
Photo by Alev Takil on Unsplash

Small towns certainly have their pros and cons. Many people who grow up in small towns find themselves counting the days until they get to escape their roots and plant new ones in bigger, "better" places. And that's fine. I'd be lying if I said I hadn't thought those same thoughts before too. We all have, but they say it's important to remember where you came from. When I think about where I come from, I can't help having an overwhelming feeling of gratitude for my roots. Being from a small town has taught me so many important lessons that I will carry with me for the rest of my life.

Keep Reading...Show less
​a woman sitting at a table having a coffee
nappy.co

I can't say "thank you" enough to express how grateful I am for you coming into my life. You have made such a huge impact on my life. I would not be the person I am today without you and I know that you will keep inspiring me to become an even better version of myself.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

Waitlisted for a College Class? Here's What to Do!

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

165072
college students waiting in a long line in the hallway
StableDiffusion

Course registration at college can be a big hassle and is almost never talked about. Classes you want to take fill up before you get a chance to register. You might change your mind about a class you want to take and must struggle to find another class to fit in the same time period. You also have to make sure no classes clash by time. Like I said, it's a big hassle.

This semester, I was waitlisted for two classes. Most people in this situation, especially first years, freak out because they don't know what to do. Here is what you should do when this happens.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments