You've been talking to a girl for a couple weeks and things seem to be going well. She's being friendly with you, hugging you whenever she sees you and stopping by to talk for a few minutes. But now that she has established a generally warm attitude towards you, it's the moment of truth: you're going to try to hook up with her. You lean in to kiss her and she pulls back, surprised. She tells you she's sorry, that she thinks you're a really nice guy but she's not into you that way. This is where you can do one of two things: act like a victim of your innate "niceness," or actually be nice.

It's no secret that men tend to become defensive when a girl won't hook up with them. Many men lash out by refusing to invest in that "friendship" anymore, calling her names to their friends, and so on. I get it, rejection is an ego-killer. The thing is:

- No one owes you sex for being nice to them.
- No one owes you sex for anything.
- It is no one's responsibility to babysit your ego.
- It's a fact of life that not everyone is going to be attracted to you.

You want to know why you got called a nice guy while you were getting rejected? Because the girl clearly thought you were nice enough of a person to talk to. Being nice has nothing to do with her physical attraction to you; she probably only mentioned it to soften the blow of the rejection with a compliment about your personality.

But the truly bizarre thing about this whole situation is not that you got rejected -- it's that this girl thinks you're a nice guy. Chances are if you feign friendliness to get girls to sleep with you or you think women inherently owe you sex, you are not nice. Here are a few things that might actually make you a nice guy:

- Sticking around to be the girl's friend even though she won't sleep with you
- Being mature about it and not lashing out on her
- Being nice to women because you want to be a decent human being, not because you think it will get you a one night stand
- Seeking out female friends instead of creating a perceptual divide between the "platonic" male gender and the inherently sexualized female gender

Chances are if you actually become nice, it will reflect in your personality and make you a more attractive option for women. So stop whining and start living up to your identity as a "nice guy."