In the past year. many issues both nationally and internationally have polarized on social media communities. Whether it's police brutality, transgender bathroom rights, the presidential campaign or terrorism — we all have opinions on what’s been happening in the world. But I’m not here today to talk about any of these issues, but how we talk about them.
Expressing these opinions is not only your right, but something you should be doing in order to promote discussion and understanding from all sides. Ignoring current events accomplishes nothing and we would be shameful human beings if we just looked away and remained silent while people around us are dying and facing oppression. Facebook and other platforms have recently taken on a new role to serve as casual debate playing fields for all of us. Many are taking advantage of this wonderful opportunity to bring awareness about both major mainstream issues, or under-appreciated issues which the media often sweeps under the rug. I love seeing this! What I don’t love however is how people are speaking to each other when they have differing opinions.
It makes my heart absolutely ache, and honestly makes me furious, when I see someone turn a debate into a nasty emotional attack on the person who posted their opinion. We fear to express our opinions in public because this often leads to people we love growing a set of teeth and claws and ripping us to shreds on a purely personal level. Friends and family are burning bridges between each other over a difference of opinion and this needs to stop.
Attacking someone because you don’t agree with their opinion is counterproductive because:
1. It proves nothing and teaches no one anything.
2. It damages your relationship with that person, and it gives you no gratification in the end — it just makes you angry.
No matter what the topic, chances are both sides are guilty of this behavior. So, how can we fix this? Well, here are some tips based on some basic debate etiquette:
- Avoid using words like “never” or “always.” Ultimatums like this leave no room for exceptions and as a result turn out to be false most of the time.
- Don’t make a statement based on your emotions. Keep your points and rebuttals strictly to the facts.
- This should go without saying: never falsify, create or distort evidence. Also avoid exaggerating facts even if they are based on truth. On the same note, do not deny obvious truths. If the opponent has provided a fact with a legitimate source to back it up, saying that it is not true is just childish and doesn’t aid your argument.
- Attack the idea, not the person. Insulting, offending or disrespecting your opponent in any way through name calling, the use of blackmail or emotional manipulation is not professional and proves nothing and probably makes you look extremely unintelligent.
- Avoid saying the other person is “wrong.” If it was clear which side was correct, we wouldn’t be having a debate.
- Do not present opinions as facts. If it’s an opinion, feel free to express it but recognize it for what it is by starting the statement with “In my opinion…”
- Avoid bickering and approach the conversation with a positive attitude. This is just a debate and you should always keep that in perspective during its duration. Know how to agree to disagree and don’t expect the other person to necessarily change their mind.
We can all really learn something from each other if we bother to listen and not get wrapped up in personal motives. Just because two people disagree on something doesn’t mean that they can’t be friends or have a positive relationship with each other. That being said, take care of yourself- if someone is harassing you on social media because of your views and you need to escape said harassment, it is okay to take the necessary measures to maintain your mental health. Escaping verbal harassment doesn’t make you a bad debater or a bad person. And if someone is posting things constantly that you really don’t like to see, you can always unfollow that person to keep their posts off your newsfeed and avoid possible confrontations. Be kind, listen to each other, and never stop educating yourself on the issues!
