The Loss Of A Loved One

The Loss Of A Loved One

...Because some things never get any easier.
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This past Saturday, August 20, marked five years of the loss of four beloved boys who lost their lives far too soon in a car accident. Those boys were not only my dear friends, but also siblings, cousins, sons, and brothers of many others. They were athletes, boyfriends, a reason to smile, and a face to remember. Their vanishing from our lives shook the very ground we were standing on with not a hint of ease. Looking back on that day never becomes easier. The hardest part about losing someone is having to do it every single day. There is a part of you that’s missing and can’t be replaced. No matter how much you try to distract yourself or “let time heal all wounds,” the pain remains. And it’s a pain that can’t be described in words, you feel this pain. You feel it in your eyes as soon as you open them in the morning, and you feel it in your legs with each unwilling step you take back to reality. You feel it in your ears when you hear unpleasant sobs, and with your hands when you give comforting hugs. It’s an overwhelming sensation that you feel in your heart every heavy breath that you take and it doesn’t go away overnight, let alone, over months, and even years.

If you have lost someone, you know this reality all too well and have fought to be at the point you are at today. Whether you are content at this point or not, I promise you that you have improved because, whomever you may have lost, you know they would want you to try to be happy…and I think that’s one of the hardest parts about recovering from losing such an important person in your world. Being happy without them feels wrong, sometimes cruel, and at times selfish. However, that does not make you any less decent of a human nor take away any ounce of love that you have towards them.

The death of a loved one changes you. It takes your world and flips it inside out and backwards. It leaves you hanging upside down and falling forever. It makes you question everything you’ve ever known, experienced, learned, and loved, and it creates a remarkable appreciation that you never wish you knew; an appreciation for life. Although you have been through your own personal hell on earth, you owe yourself the chance to grow and wholeheartedly smile at the joys of living again. Looking back five years ago, I couldn’t fathom the places I’ve gotten to and the obstacles I’ve overcome. Of course, it did not happen quickly and it was not the slightest bit easy, but it did present me with the person I am today, which I wouldn't have any other way.

If I could give a single piece of advice, after living and managing, sometimes merely, to survive the same things you’re going through, I would tell you every day, for the rest of your life, “Don’t give up on yourself.” There are going to be days you cry from the moment you open your eyes in the morning until the second you let them rest at night. The even worse days will come when you’re too numb to cry…you’re too numb to do, feel, or express anything. These days will come more often than good days, or even decent days, but I'm telling you now to push through. Because when you’re out of the dark and can finally see how far you’ve come, every hour of those bad days will be worth it. You will lose hope, you will lose faith, you will fight the hardest arguments within your very own head and you will lose, but one day you will win. You will trust, you will believe, and you will thank every cell in your body that you didn’t stop fighting, that you didn’t give up on yourself, and that you learned to fall in love with life again.

Cover Image Credit: NY Times

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I'm A Woman And You Can't Convince Me Breastfeeding In Public Is OK In 2019

Sorry, not sorry.

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Lately, I have seen so many people going off on social media about how people shouldn't be upset with mothers breastfeeding in public. You know what? I disagree.

There's a huge difference between being modest while breastfeeding and just being straight up careless, trashy and disrespectful to those around you. Why don't you try popping out a boob without a baby attached to it and see how long it takes for you to get arrested for public indecency? Strange how that works, right?

So many people talking about it bring up the point of how we shouldn't "sexualize" breastfeeding and seeing a woman's breasts while doing so. Actually, all of these people are missing the point. It's not sexual, it's just purely immodest and disrespectful.

If you see a girl in a shirt cut too low, you call her a slut. If you see a celebrity post a nude photo, you call them immodest and a terrible role model. What makes you think that pulling out a breast in the middle of public is different, regardless of what you're doing with it?

If I'm eating in a restaurant, I would be disgusted if the person at the table next to me had their bare feet out while they were eating. It's just not appropriate. Neither is pulling out your breast for the entire general public to see.

Nobody asked you to put a blanket over your kid's head to feed them. Nobody asked you to go feed them in a dirty bathroom. But you don't need to basically be topless to feed your kid. Growing up, I watched my mom feed my younger siblings in public. She never shied away from it, but the way she did it was always tasteful and never drew attention. She would cover herself up while doing it. She would make sure that nothing inappropriate could be seen. She was lowkey about it.

Mindblowing, right? Wait, you can actually breastfeed in public and not have to show everyone what you're doing? What a revolutionary idea!

There is nothing wrong with feeding your baby. It's something you need to do, it's a part of life. But there is definitely something wrong with thinking it's fine to expose yourself to the entire world while doing it. Nobody wants to see it. Nobody cares if you're feeding your kid. Nobody cares if you're trying to make some sort of weird "feminist" statement by showing them your boobs.

Cover up. Be modest. Be mindful. Be respectful. Don't want to see my boobs? Good, I don't want to see yours either. Hard to believe, I know.

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10 Ways To Start Your Days Off Right By Bringing A Little Joy And Positivity Into Your Morning

"Listen to the birds sign a sweet morning song."

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I'll be the first to admit, I'm not exactly what you would call a "morning person." That being said, I think it's high time I bring some joy into my mornings. I mean, life is beautiful, and by not enjoying mornings, I think I'm missing out on a potentially enjoyable part of life.

So if you want to start enjoying your mornings like me, here are ten things you might want to try doing to start your days off right.

1. Make a happy and healthy breakfast.

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Make some toast, eggs, fruit, granola, or yogurt. OR, break out the bacon and have a good time. Any of those options sound like a good morning to me.

2. Drink a fresh cup of coffee (or tea).

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For me, I don’t think anything could beat the smell of a coffee being made in the morning. So whether you’re into coffee or tea, use a nice warm drink as a way to bring a little joy into your mornings.

3. Smile when you wake up.

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Start your morning with a good old-fashioned smile. Look in the mirror, look at how wonderfully made you are, and take a moment to smile and take that in.

4. Try to stay off of social media when you first wake up.

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I know, it’s all too easy to become glued to your phone these days, BUT I think that’s a few moments of time away from it, and away from social media, can be a good way to stay positive in the mornings.

5. Journal your thoughts going into the day.

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Take a pen, pencil, and a piece of paper, and take a moment to write down your thoughts, feelings, emotions, or anything else on your mind going into a new day.

6. Put on clothes that make you feel happy.

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Put on whatever outfit makes you happy, whether that’s a cute sweater or a t-shirt. Wear something that makes you feel good.

7. Watch the sunrise.

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OK, so I know you might not be able to do this every morning, but I think that watching the sunrise is the perfect way to start any day. What could be better than taking in all of these wonderful creations?

8. If you can, sit outside and enjoy our planet.

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On that note, take some time to sit outside and enjoy the early morning and the world around you. Start your morning off with some time to really just sit back and take it all in.

9. Spend some time reading something you enjoy.

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Grab a good book, a magazine, or whatever it is you might like to read. Take some time to clear your mind, and then fill it with lots of good writing.

10. Listen to the birds sign a sweet morning song.

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Arguably my favorite thing on the list, I truly can see no downside to listening to the birds chirping away in the morning. If you can, take some time to listen to nature’s sweet morning song.

Hopefully you can try one of these tactics to brighten up your morning, and in turn, maybe even brighten up your whole day. We live in a wonderful world, and I think that it's time we start to recognize that.

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