An alarming video called, #DearDaddy was released several weeks ago. The five-minute video about violence against women has been sweeping the world, and causing dialogue to start. The video begins with a female narrator saying, “Dear daddy, this is the favor that I want to ask. One thing always leads to another. So please stop it before it gets the chance to begin.” The clips throughout the video show the young girl from a baby to marriage. All throughout she continues to explain to her daddy what women are faced with as they grow up. She pleads to her daddy to make sure that being a girl isn’t, “The greatest danger of all”. After the video starts and the daughter asks her father to “Stop it before it gets the chance to begin,” she explains that a young age in school, girls start getting called a whore, a bitch, and many other things. Boys will think that it’s okay to think of the girls in this way, and as they get older they’ll have the same mentality and try to get into the girl’s pants whenever she’s drunk.
The video progresses into her adulthood, and she points out that, “No wonder I’m raped when I’m 21.” She continues speaking to her daddy and telling him that she gets raped by the son of the boy who used to make horrid jokes about girls when him and her daddy were young. But she recovers from that incident, and meets a guy that is great to her and they are meant to get married. But he eventually hits her one day, and then almost chokes her to death one day and that is where the video begins to come to a close. The daughter gives several pleas to her daddy, “Don’t let my brother call girls whores, because they’re not, and one day some little boy might think it’s true. Don’t accept insulting jokes from weird guys by the pool, or even friends, because behind every joke there is always some truth.” “Dear Daddy I know that you will protect me from lion, tigers, guns, cars, and even sushi without even thinking about the danger to your own life. But Dear Daddy, I will be born a girl. Please do everything you can so that, that won’t stay the greatest danger of all.”
The #DearDaddy video is meant to raise more awareness about the violence against women across the world, and where that violence can stem from. It aims to point out that this violence doesn’t radically appear in adulthood, but it is fostered at a young age. This is the time when boys are taught to be tough, and girls are taught to look pretty. The video campaign does a great job of capturing attention and stirring the conversation, that I assume they desired. The video came from CARE Norway as they decided to tackle the issue of violence, and specifically violence against women.
But there appears to be a lack of representation that stems from the video. I’ve seen responses from men that express their great disappointment that there wasn’t a #DearMommy video about the violence and duress that can come from how society tells boys to act. As I mentioned, from a young age boys are told to toughen up, but that mentality leads to many other problems in life. Many men across the world are victims of domestic violence or rape, but they go underreported and unrecognized because there’s “no way that a woman could do that to you.” The message from the #DearDaddy video is an admirable one. There are too many instances around the world where boys and men take matters too far and are abusive with words or physical actions. But there are also many instances that women do the same thing to men. I'm in no way diminishing the struggles that women go through, because I personally understand them and would never aim to do such a thing as to diminish someone's lived experience with violence. But awareness for both sides of the issue seems to be a great way to enact the change necessary to help both genders.
If you or someone that you know is struggling with a domestic violence situation, please contact The National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233), or 1-800-787-3224 (TTY).
