Dear That Girl,
You know who you are, that’s a certainty. The uncertainty that lies within this letter sits deep inside the man behind the keyboard. Empathy is being pressed deep into each key as I spill the brutally honest truth. I don’t exactly know what to say but I believe no one does. That’s why it goes unsaid. Why? We leave these texts unanswered, we allow for the grey area to be created because we refuse to spread our colors to each other.
The feeling of need comes in all different shapes, it comes at all different times, and decides to leave when the door is closed. Desperation is different than need we often get that confused. I know to you I may seem desperate, at some point that could hold true, but that’s not who I am. I need the happiness, the laughs, and constant butterflies that leave me breathless. I get high off of your presence and, to be honest, sobriety is not for me.
I know you and I know why you do the things you do. It’s the same for every guy who has that the one girl. When you’re hungry you come to seek our presence and you eat up all the sincerity we provide. We aren’t dumb, we are just blind in the pursuit of love. We are often played off as stupid but that couldn’t be further from the truth. Our intelligence is what drives us towards you. We know you are the one, not by feeling, but by reasoning.
Actions reflect character. That has held true for all societies. I see how you act and I tell myself to walk away yet my heart is beating closer and closer towards you. The constant pounding of my chest is going to leave bruises for years. Blue and purple will be the light I shine on my future relationships. Having everyone know I have been beaten and I have been used but I am a fighter. This hurts to type it, there are chilling pains every time I press my fingers down but I have to stay true to myself. I at least owe myself that.
My self-worth is much greater than what I selling myself for. Guys like me are selling our shares way below value just to be bought by the majority. Girls like you see our consistent yet intended mistakes. You see my broken pieces and get high off my fault lines. I am your drug, you abuse me whenever you please. Trust me, you are not alone. Every guy has a you in their life, it’s just the way it works.
Shockingly, there is no anger behind this message. I wouldn’t change the past for a brighter future. There was a reason you walked into my life. There is a reason that every guy has that one girl. For me to find that meaning may take longer than most. That does not upset me, it most likely should. One day this will all work out, I am sure of it. But until then let’s keep moving along. Let's keep playing the never ending game of chess, constantly knocking each other off. The day will come when we finally pick each other back up. One king and one Queen will be left standing on the board, happily ever after.
Love,
That Guy
