First things first, you’re the realest.
You're the one everyone knows that will do absolutely anything for anyone. The one who carries the biggest smile and brings the sparkle to the party.
Why is it that whenever the party leaves that you inherently feel…empty?
Like making everyone else happy was somehow gonna spin back your way…good karma, ya know?
But I am not here to validate and add some tissues to your pity party. Chances are, I typically would be there to give you some sort of pump up talk and reaffirm you’re more important than the local used tissue.
But now that you realize that you give to receive, let's just establish you suffer from the same thing we all do as humans;
Unmet expectations.
Now whether you have unmet expectations of yourself or unmet expectations of others, there is always some gray area of what you wanted verses what you actually received.
Will I shame myself for realizing that?
Absolutely not.
Because...like many, I was born and raised on it.
Middle child and squished between 4 older and 4 younger, I was raised to give to and please others.
I wanted to be loved just as much as I loved others.
Similarly, there are those who were raised to receive and be pleased.
Natural instinct. Not everyone operates like you.
**Newsflash: those who receive, feel just as unlovable as you**
K. So next time you find yourself seeming unlovable, spreading yourself way too thin, or going the extra mile to prove you're worthy of being loved by someone else, stop.
Stop shaming. Stop blaming. Stop valuing your worth according to the validation of others. Stop the crippling addiction to pride.
There are two types of people in this world when it comes to pleasing & pride:
1. The person that refuses to let their pride go.
2. The other who unceasingly chases something to be proud of.
What does this mean?
#1 Relies on self-sufficiently holding their head high and ultimately sees no need for defining themselves in anyone or anything bigger than themselves. Usually, the receivers believe in creating their own value as a person (pride).
Syn: Arrogant, Conceited, Narcissistic, Vain, Rude, Lonely
#2 Relies on affirmation from others after going the extra mile to give. They expect reciprocation of some sorts in order to know that their efforts do not go unseen and they are valued as a person (pride).
Syn: Needy, Clingy, Insecure, Anxious, Doubtful, Lonely
What do you notice is common between the two?
Hint: Loneliness…
Loneliness- ˈlōnlēnəs/ (n) sadness because one has no friends or company.
Syn: Unlovable, Isolated, Alone, Deserted, Abandonment, Rejection, Sadness
Alright, now where am I going with this?
Your purpose is not to please yourself
Your purpose is not to please people.
Your purpose is not to please pride.
Your purpose is simply to recognize your purpose in being alive.
To please the One who created you to love and be loved.
Your purpose is not to accept your loneliness…it’s to realize you are never alone.
When you honestly start to believe this and nourish that loneliness each and every day it soon turns into something new…
#1 lives a life that believes working for something is worth the risk and falling in love with life/others requires the vulnerability in giving.
Syn: Happy, Fulfilled, Lovable, Consistent
#2 lives a life that gives within limitation and ceases to let others determine their decisions or self worth. They really start to fall in love with themselves with no worldly validation.
Syn: Authentic, Raw, Genuine, Peaceful, Consistent
Heal & Seal. Grow & Go.
Xoxo,
Gina Margarita
