Dear Peanut Butter,
I think I love you.
After 20 years of life with you, I thought it was time to pay you a special tribute. With all the crackers and sandwiches you get smooshed between, I sometimes think you go a little unappreciated. The time has come for me to thank you for being the wonderful nutty nut butter that you are.
You were my constant in every grade school lunch. I could always count on you to give me enough energy to prepare for recess and enough protein-packed brain power to show that spelling test who was boss.
Mom would slap you on some bread, and she introduced you to your many loves, i.e. pretzels and apples, and she'd even (if I was lucky) make you in cookie form. No matter the gourmet culinary masterpiece you were presented in, the important thing is that you helped me emerge from grade school as a pretty Skippy, Jiffy kid with my feet properly Planters in the ground.
By the time high school rolled around, I knew you would never abandon me, like Mom abandoned her lunch-making duties. I was now deemed responsible enough to pack my own lunches, but I still choose you above every deli meat option known to man.
After my mini freak-out that my sandwiches would never be the same as mom's, I quickly realized mine were actually crazy better. She didn't put enough of you on any sandwich. How could I be so blind to our restricted love?! And, while Mom's peanut butter generosity was lacking, mine was definitely not.
Peanut butter, you give so much clarity to my life. The hardest thing you've ever made me do was scrape the jar. With you, life is simple, life is happy, and life is versatile. From creamy, to chunky, to Jiff, to Peter Pan, to the many things you can be paired with, you always keep life interesting, and for that I am eternally grateful.
Now, as a big college kid, I still rely on you daily. You remind me of my youth, and you are a friendly staple to my poor college kid diet. I look up to you in all your nutty glory, and sometimes...
To show you how much you mean to me, I've decided to put your importance into perspective. With there being 365 days in a year, and you being a part of pretty close to every one of my approximately 7,300 days on this planet, that means I would have consumed about 521 jars of you in my lifetime.
Yeah, I feel ya, Peanut Butter Baby.
So my dear, lovely peanut butter, I thank you, and your founding father, George Washington Carver, for your countless generous contributions to this world!
Love,
Your not-so-secret admirer
