Dear Past Self,

Yes, I can hear you.

I can hear you loud and clear as you try your absolute hardest to come back into my life - to reappear out of the blue and change the course of my life.

That may seem a little extreme, but when an overwhelming feeling of depression and anxiety come knocking at your door after you kicked them out, it puts a roadblock on your life path and causes you to swerve out of control.

While this may only be for a week, or a month, it could last much longer. I don't want this to last even a second, I don't want you at my door.

I see you trying to put thoughts back into my head. Thoughts that cause me to spiral; to become destructive.

I see you trying to put memories back into my head. Memories that cause me pain; to hurt so severely I can barely function. So vivid and close that it's like I'm right back in that moment.

I see you oh so clearly trying to make an appearance in my new life, and I won't let you.

After all the time I spent trying to get you under control, I finally did. I will not let you take that away from me.

After all the time I spent trying to forgive you, I finally did, and I will no longer spend time full of regrets.

All the mistakes, all of the heartbreaks, all of the pain and suffering - I forgive you.

You, my dear past self, have shaped me into who I am today. Have given me strength, knowledge, wisdom, and direction. You have allowed me to help others, and to help myself, and to better understand some of the crazy things in this world. You have given me an opportunity to understand the importance of mental health - and although I am thankful, I do not want to relive you.

You can try to come back in my life. You can try to come back with your bad thoughts, and your vivid memories. You can try to come back with feelings of pain, and hurt. You can try all you want to come back, but you can't.

I am letting you go. I am moving on. I am forgiving you.

So, past self, you are to be learned from, and cherished, and talked about.

You are to be accepted, as you are part of me; part of my future.

You are to be loved for shaping me, for teaching me, and for guiding me.

However, you are not allowed to enter this newly created life of mine. A life I worked so hard for.

Goodbye, past self. It was nice knowing you.

Sincerely,

Present, and Future Self.