Dear Non-Black Women That Date Black Men,
I am a Black woman and I have loved Black men in every way possible. I love my Black son. I love my Black brothers. I have loved a Black man as my father. I have loved Black men as my uncles. I have loved Black significant others. I love my Black male friends. I love and worship my Black God. Many of us believe that no one's love for Black men can match or compare to that of Black women. They are of us and we are of them.
To whom much is given, much is expected. Black men are our "much". We value, cherish and appreciate them and because of that it is expected that we defend and love them without second thought or falling weary.
Your capability of mirroring this level of appreciation is not in question. Your willingness is. Are you willing to adopt a portion of a Black woman's tasks? Tasks that are riddled with extreme discomfort, excessive amounts of pain and unbearable amounts of worry. The shoes we walk in aren't padded, nor are they satin-lined. They are designed to leave callouses, but somehow our soles heal as smoothened, silky skin.
It's not promised that yours will heal in this manner, for Black women were birthed out of strength, diligence and perseverance. Our spines are strong and sturdy, yet we are flexible enough to bend without breaking. Out of the same mouth we can tear down our enemies and build up our men and children. The hands we use to work and fight are the same ones we use to pray with. Our feet aren't resistant to the callouses, but they heal as though no trauma ever occurred.
Are you willing to allow those callouses to adorn your soles, making them thicker and less susceptible to punctures? Are you willing to face the persecution of the world, loved ones and strangers alike? Are you willing to tirelessly defend him against a world that is fearful of his undying strength and prominent existence? Are you willing to honor that existence and go to battle against anyone who threatens it? Are you willing to inherit his struggles?Are you willing to honor and respect the Black men and women who came before him? For those struggles that you are to inherit are the ones that they endured. If you bear his children are you willing to praise their beautiful Blackness?
Are you willing to adopt a portion of a Black woman's tasks?
Though some may feel otherwise, I do not disapprove of your relationship with our men. But please understand that my acceptance is conditional. Many of us believe that no one's love for Black men can match or compare to that of Black women. So while under your care, ensure that you never fall short. Make it so that the only difference between you and a Black woman who has the utmost respect and appreciation for Black men are your roots.
Remember, to whom much is given much is expected. Black men are our "much". There is no shortage of Black women willing to meet the expectations of upholding the blessing of having a Black man. If you are not willing, turn him loose. Turn him loose and allow the women built, raised and naturally equipped to be his other half to fulfill her tasks as a Black woman.
With all of the mass incarcerations, wrongful convictions and the frequent police killings of our boys and men, it appears that there is an agenda to endanger not only the Black man, but the Black family as well. If you are not willing, turn him loose.
Again, acceptance is conditional and Black men are our "much"...
With love for Black men everywhere,
Aliyyah
