Dear Netflix,
We’ve had a great run. But with finals just around the corner, I have no other choice than to remove you from my bookmarks bar. What a shame too, because you looked so great sandwiched between the orange SoundCloud logo and Vice. Don’t beat yourself up – it really isn’t you, it’s me.
There have been times when I’ve found myself laying in bed only to find that it’s well past 4 a.m., and I don’t have any idea how the hell I’ve gotten here. I’m in the middle of an episode of “Friday Night Lights,” barely able to keep my eyes open, but the thought of not finding out what happens between Matt Saracen and Julie Taylor is not one I can bear. This isn’t healthy.
When people talk about their obsession with you, I internally scoff. I often find myself feeling simultaneously disgusted and in adoration of our love/hate relationship. Watching a complete season within one day is not uncommon, nor is choosing to spend a full day in bed with you rather than go out. If anyone names a TV show it’s more likely than not that I’ve seen it. “Friends”? Yup, the last episode made me weep. “How I Met Your Mother”? Yeah. “Prison Break”? It gave me anxiety, but like, in a good way. “American Horror Story”? Yes, it was the sole reason I didn’t leave my house for a week – so that I could watch all four seasons on Netflix and get caught up on the fifth. The list goes on and on.
I know that time and time again, I found myself running back to you, but this time is different. It’s time to get my crap together. If we’re being honest, one of the main reasons I’ve stayed with you so long is the fact that I get way too emotionally invested in the characters. Benson and Stabler of “Law and Order: SVU” will always be my favorite crime fighting duo, regardless of the fact that Stabler is no longer on the show.
The romance Lexie Grey and Mark Sloan of “Grey’s Anatomy” absolutely broke my heart (I won’t give away any spoilers). I wish Tina, Louise and Gene of “Bob’s Burgers” were my best friends. Ron Swanson of “Parks and Recreation” is my spirit animal. And Taystee of “Orange is the New Black” is someone I would hope to have on my side if a bitch ever wanted to throw down.
You’ve made me laugh uncontrollably, cry myself close to the point of dehydration, shove handfuls of anything and everything edible into my mouth during moments of suspense, angrily “X” out when things aren’t going how I wish they would, and cheer like a proud mother when they do. Good times and bad, we’ve been through it all.
So it is with a heavy heart that I bid you adieu (at least until winter break). Goodbye, Netflix.
With love,
Pauline.
