Dear Rosa McRae Chapman,

You were my everything and you are still missed to this day. When breast cancer struck you for the second and final time, I did not know what to do with myself. I wanted to tear things up. I did not care about anything at that particular time. You were a mother, grandmother, aunt, cousin, sister, a prayer warrior and more importantly an awesome human being. Biologically you were my aunt, but everyone around us knew our relationship was much stronger than that. You did things that most aunts would not do. You did more things for me than my parents did for me, combined. But I did not love you just because of the things you have granted me. I loved you, because you loved me unconditionally. This right here is the true ultimate gift that I possibly could never get again, unless it comes from my little brother or Mom.

In this world, people will only stand by your side, or give you gratification and appraisal when you do things that align with their beliefs and values. And even when I do things for them, they still decide to give me the middle finger or feel that I am not deserving of reciprocity. So they decide to not give me what I want. And of course, I get mad with that. But with you, I never worried about you not fulfilling your promise that you made to me. You would find a way, through the grace and strength of God to deliver what I needed. And that spoke volumes as to what you really thought about me and how you have cared and never stopped caring.

You are just like Jesus, in the sense that you loved me; in spite of my personality and mannerisms. And that's how everyone should love other people, but we choose to think otherwise. I am going to be always honest, and say that I do not really listen to advice that people give me. I really just do not trust the process, as most sixers fans do. I like to do things that I know I am going to get a positive result and the result that I want.

Many people just speculate about what will happen if I do these things or act differently. Most of those people do not have the credibility to give me the advice that I need, in order to get my needs met or further my career. And quite frankly, I do not trust what those people are putting down. But with you, I knew that what you were telling me was credible, factual and honest. You were doing this for my best interest and not your own. There were things you did not like about my decisions but, you supported me every step of the way.

I can remember the long car rides that we would take together. And you would always say, “you can do it. As long as you put God first, you can do anything you put your mind to. I expect nothing but the best from you. I certainly miss those times we have shared; and the pep talks you gave me. Your talks exuded me with confidence, dare I say a little bit cocky. But I did not care what anybody else thought.

I had every right to think this way and you were fine with that. But as I write this article with my eyes watery and tears coming down my cheeks, it seems when you passed away, my confidence went with you. I do not take the same chances that I used to. I prefer to be comfortable as opposed to being uncomfortable. I rather be seen and not heard as opposed to vice versa. I been acting like an ordinary person, and I know I am not that. I am extraordinary, even though people do not like my extraordinary.

I am not going to be that person, they want me to be. I am going to be that person that you and God want me to be. I have to be the best for you guys. I can be great, even better than Muhammad Ali. But I just wish you could be here to see it. Those are the days where I wish you were here. Those are the days when I need you most. But I know you are looking down on me. Even though you are eternity miles away, you will always be in my heart. I still miss you heavily, so I would be remised if I did not show you love. I never had to put on a gimmick for you. But I LOVE YOU!!!! And I know you are getting the rest you truly deserve.