For most of my life I've been pretty envious of those around me who come from two-parent households or have close relationships with their father, even if their parents were no longer together. I'll admit I was a bit jealous and I always thought I was missing out on something.
Now that I'm older though, I realize that my absentee father is probably one of the best things that has ever happened to me. One might ask how can coming from a broken home be a good thing? Well, I'll tell you why with just two simple words: my mother.
Every day I get compliments on the way I act, my intelligence, my work ethic etc, but the truth of the matter is that I wouldn't be the person I am today had I not been raised by a single mother. Raising a child as a single parent in general is not easy but if you're a single mother struggling with how you can continue doing this by yourself let me tell you why your child will be thankful you did in the future.
First off there's independence. I gotta tell you there's no better feeling than being able to stand on your own two feet and not having to depend on others. It's a very rewarding experience to be self-sufficient. Once they start seeing how codependent and needy some of their friends are, that time you yelled at them for not knowing how to properly balance a checkbook or keep their finances in order will make them so much more appreciative.
Then there's your work ethic. You have no idea how much seeing you work hard to provide for them will affect them in the future. It's a classic 'monkey see, monkey do' example. If they see you being lazy and unmotivated then they will want to do the same. But, if they see you busting your ass every day, working hard and grinding, then you'll instill in them a work ethic that will prove to be invaluable. Trust me on this. One of the reasons I work so hard is because I grew up watching someone with an outstanding work ethic. My drive, perseverance and tenacity comes from my mom. Hell I still can't keep up —despite the fact that I'm 30 years younger — but I've seen the fruits of her labor and I have one of the best examples off what happens when you work hard, and your child will too and they will thank you immensely for this.
I could go on and on about the ways that being raised by a single mother have benefited me but let's be real —AIN'T NOBODY GOT TIME FOR THAT! But seriously though there's not enough time in the day to go through everything but I'd like to end this with the most important thing I've gotten from my mom; her strength.
I have become a very strong-willed, headstrong, empowered individual and had I not seen what that looked like and how detrimental those characteristics are to not letting the things life throws at you get you down, well I might have turned out a lot differently; quite possible not for the better.
I often ponder about what life would have been like had my parents stayed together or if my father would have been an active part of my life. In retrospect, I probably would have ended up spoiled, entitled, extremely codependent and whiny. Basically I wouldn't be the delightful ray of sunshine I am today. However, when I find myself longing for that two-parent relationship I just remember everything that I got in return. It takes a strong human being with superman-like capabilities to be able to do not just what a parent does, but a single parent because they have to take on all of the responsibilities of both parental roles; and they make it look easy. Single mothers (and single dads) what you do on a day to day basis is amazing. It is unmatched and from someone who is a product of that lifestyle I can tell you that your work does not go unnoticed and it is greatly appreciated. So I conclude this by simply saying THANK YOU.