This week, I was in a hotel in Times Square in an elevator full of men. It happened multiple times throughout the day, and every time, the men "let" me leave first, because apparently, that's the "gentlemanly" thing to do and I, as a "lady" should be so gracious that they allowed me this great pleasure.

This is bullshit.

How is letting a woman walk out first an act that we should acclaim in our society? Why should the order we exit matter? I didn't do anything special to get on the elevator except for pushing a button. Actually, in a lot of the cases the men were the ones who pushed the button and got on first. So shouldn't they, by rules of convenience, be the first to get to leave?

Our society has this backward idea that part of me acting "ladylike," whatever the hell that is supposed to mean now in 2017, includes making sure I leave an elevator first. I don't care if I leave first or last, you're not treating me with respect for letting me go first. You don't get a gold star. It doesn't make you a gentleman.

If you haven't picked up on it yet, I think men letting women go first out of the elevator is an ass-backwards societal norm that we need to let go of. It won't wound my pride if I'm not the first to walk out onto the second floor at Target or out into the hotel lobby.

We need to stop praising boys for "allowing" girls to do things first because it's "courteous." That creates a gender barrier. That makes my annoyance over an elevator part of a larger conversation.

Do we keep identifying these norms that we've become so accustomed to, like men holding the door or always paying for dinner, as signs of a gentleman? Or is there so much more to it than that?

Before anyone tries to misconstrue what I'm saying, I'm not going to outwardly reject any of these kind gestures. My point here is that these things happen because of my gender.

I'm not saying it's wrong to be a nice human. I'm saying it's wrong to perpetuate these norms because I am a human woman and he is a human man.