Dear medicated me,
It's been almost two weeks now that we've been off our medication, so I thought I would fill you in on how we are feeling. First, I think we should just forget the pills altogether. I mean, I don't know why people think we need them in the first place. We're normal. Bipolar Disorder is okay.
I personally think everyone else is the problem. They're the ones who are out to get us. Everyone is just super annoying also. They're just looking to get you mad about everything. The most common phrase they keep telling us is that we're in a mood or have some sort of attitude. Well, no, we don't, but now we do.
We have never felt freer.
Do you know all the feelings we are able to have? You don't realize it now, but they're just dulling you down. I swear you're just some sort of robot or something. We're just ready for anything right now without them. Run a marathon? Well, we're not physically fit enough for that, but we can picture it. Fight someone? Hell yeah. Jump in front of that car? Well, the thought is there.
We do have a few weird thoughts here and there. Wonder what would happen should we step in front of that car, what if we just drove into something, how fun would it be just to start smashing stuff in the house, how hard we think we could hit the wall with our head, etc. I mean, they're just thoughts, so it's all good. I don't think it's anything to worry about.
It balances out though, but after all this adrenaline we take a small break. Things are a little darker during this time, it hurts to get up in the morning because the world feels like a very scary place. Though in our defense it is a scary place. Have you watched the news? There's plenty of stuff to be terrified of. I mean, it's not that we're scared of, it's ourselves and just a general fear of paranoia about what people are doing or saying around us, but that's irrelevant.
The paranoia is a lingering feeling, but I feel rational. I mean, everyone is out to get us, they're all talking about us, and someone is watching us. You're never alone. The meds made us sort of ignore it easier, but being off them it's always there, but it's fine. We're free, remember? Just because we're terrified randomly because we swear something is there without, more so when we're alone, doesn't mean we should take those meds.
We have felt a little too low and random points.
During the high, we felt a little invincible about stepping out in front of that car, but during our low, we know the consequences and keep the idea in the back of our head. It's totally okay though. Everyone thinks about this stuff I believe.
I really don't think we need those meds. We're doing just fine without them. Sure people think it's unsafe and not okay to hit such highs and lows, but I think it's a fun little rollercoaster. It's all just a game and every day is a mystery. It's fun. Just flush those pills down the toilet, go on, do it. Imagine all the fun we could have if you stayed off them for good.
So, what do you say medicated me? I feel like we could even jump off a bridge. Into water of course, it's totally safe, not everyone dies. Oh, maybe we stop forcing us to sleep too. It adds to our energy when we're in our high phase, that will be super fun, right? We'll make up the sleep when we're feeling low like I said, it balances itself out.
Just, think it over. I look forward to your response next week.