We never got to meet, but I know you a little bit. I have followed your whole life through you’re mama’s blog, and I fell in love with you a long time ago. I know you get told this all the time, but you are so beautiful. You are so amazing. I can’t describe it, I can’t explain what it is about those granite eyes, that curly brown hair, that smile, and that tiny tongue ever-presently poking through your lips. I love you, Mabel, and I am so sorry we will not get to meet until I join you in heaven.
Still, I am so happy that you are free from the body that betrayed you, the body that seized and spasmed and rejected itself every day so that when you should have been running, playing, dancing, singing, you were instead lying in pain and tears and involuntary jerks. I imagine you in Heaven doing all those things you couldn’t on Earth. I imagine you walking for the first time, dancing for the first time, running and singing and playing with your nana, all for the first time. It might sound terrible, but I’m glad your nana passed away before you so that she could be there to care for you in Heaven. I imagine you in a field, a backyard like the one I grew up in, clad in a yellow sundress and white sandals, your brown curls pinned off your face and a flower in your hand, exploring the world. I hope Heaven is a lot like Earth so that you can experience the sort of life you should have had, the sort of life that was ripped from you by the body that betrayed you.
Mabel, I’m in nursing school right now. In three and a half years I will be certified to take care of sick babies in hospitals, babies like you with beautiful eyes and a whole life trapped in a body that has betrayed them. Mabel, you are the reason I am doing what I am doing. You are the reason I am at a private school I can’t afford, the third best nursing school in the country. You are the reason I studied chemistry with all my might last semester, you are the reason I take notes, you are the reason I get out of bed in the morning. I cannot thank you enough for being the reason I realized my calling. I only hope you are rewarded beyond measure in Heaven.
I love you, beautiful little girl.
With all my heart,
Sharon Fischer




















