Second semester of senior year in high school was supposed to be filled with fun, adventures, making unforgettable memories with friends – really, the last 'hurrah' so to speak.
Every year I saw a new senior class graduating, I couldn't wait for it to be my turn to finally taste the sweet, sweet second semester senior life.
But I've never been so wrong in my life. Once my senior year second semester started, all I could think about were my college admissions results.
They really were some extremely torturous days.
Days never felt that long and I still had months to go until I could start hearing back from schools. I would be on the College Confidential website all the time and despite knowing nothing would be there, I would still log on to admission portals only to see statements that said they were still in the process of reviewing applications. Sometimes I would have dreams about getting accepted to my dream school and sometimes I had difficulty falling asleep, with too many thoughts racing through my head.
When it was finally March, a month that I thought would never come, admission decisions started being released. Although I was mostly just anxious and nervous, I still had a lot of excitement that I would finally get to see my admission results after months of agony. But that excitement didn't last that long when I started getting a rejection letter after another.
Yes, I got accepted to schools but the rejections almost cancelled out the supposed to be joyous acceptances and left the biggest hole in my self-esteem. I didn't have much self-esteem to begin with. I don't think I ever wanted something that badly in my life, especially knowing how hard I tried all throughout high school. It really felt like four years of hard work went down the drain when I didn't get into the schools I wanted. What I expected to be one of the best few months of high school completely shattered me.
At the moment it feels like your world is crumbling down and you feel lonely more than anything because you feel like there is no one in this world that could possibly understand what you feel right now other than yourself. But I can tell you, I know what it feels like. I've been there.
I can also tell you that things do get better. I absolutely despised hearing the cliché "everything happens for a reason" phrase from people trying to console me but it truly, truly does. You will eventually see yourself fitting in perfectly at the college you-never-really-thought-you-would-end-up-going-to and have the best four years of your life. And if you don't, there's always the option to transfer as well.
I attended UC San Diego my first two years of college. I cried all senior year second semester and even the summer before starting college. I really never thought I would go there and couldn't see myself at UC San Diego. However, after meeting my roommates, taking courses I was actually interested in, studying at the majestic Geisel library, smelling the sea breeze on the way to class, watching the most amazing sunsets all over campus and from my 13th floor campus apartment, and meeting some more amazing people, I can confidently say that I fell in love with the school.
While I did love my time at UC San Diego, I am currently at UCLA. Yes, I ended up transferring but the reason behind it was the furthest thing from hating the school – it was just personal aspirations and I felt like there was a more extensive psychology program with more resources at UCLA.
But because I went to UC San Diego, all of my credits transferred over and transitioning to UCLA wasn't too bad because it was under the same UC system. Truly, I can speak from experience that everything does happen for a reason. And I wouldn't have had it any other way. I'm so grateful I get to experience the best of both worlds by spending my first half of college in San Diego and the other half in Los Angeles.
So, the moral of the story is yes, college rejections hurt. They hurt a lot. But I'm telling you now, it's the furthest thing from being the end of the world. It may seem like it now but trust me, everything will be perfectly okay.