Dear Future husbands and wives,

I am a lover of planning for the future. Not the future as in next week, but the future as in 10-plus years from now. I let myself imagine what my life will be like and whom I will be spending it with. I've always loved reading the "Dear Future Husband/Wife" letters, but then I actually started to think about what they were saying.

We make these big lists of qualities we pray our future spouses will possess. We want them to always put Jesus first, to be kind, gentle, intelligent, to always be strong for us, to have a great sense of humor; the lists go on and on. We expect them to somehow know that all of this is expected of them and, if we're being honest, we want them to be exactly what we've always dreamed of the first time that we meet them.

I'm not suggesting we give up the standards we've set or the 'must have' qualities. I'm just suggesting we look at ourselves first.

If we're waiting for our future spouses to live up to these lofty expectations right away, then we should be expecting the same out of of ourselves.

The future spouse you're dreaming of, are they praying for a husband/wife who is exactly how you are now?

We make all of these lists for our future spouses, but what about us? Why don't we make lists for the kind of husband/wife we are striving to one day become? Let's turn the tables on ourselves.

Do we turn the other cheek? Matthew 5:39

Are we always compassionate and humble? 1 Peter 3:8

Do we covet money, or are we content? Hebrews 13:5

How are we at forgiving just as we have been forgiven? Colossians 3:13

Are we patient with all people? 1 Thessalonians 5:14

Do we have a generous, giving heart? Acts 20:35

Are we quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to anger? James 1:19

Do we seek the approval of people when we shouldn't? Galatians 1:10

Are we selfless and humble? Philippians 2:3-5

Do we have joy, even when things are tough? Romans 5:3

Most importantly, do we love as deeply as we're called to? 1 Peter 4:8

I'm challenging us to first set the standards high for ourselves. Ask yourself: What kind of spouse do I want to be for my future husband/wife?

Make a list of wishes for your future spouse and then try to live up to those yourself.