Nothing is worse than seeing you sad. Nothing is worse than seeing you cry over someone who doesn’t see your worth like I do. Let me just say, it sucks when I see you upset over someone who I know doesn’t appreciate you or treat you the way you should be treated.

You put up with a lot. You’ve been through a lot. And as your friend, I’ve been there through it all. I know how you get all quiet when something really bothers you, and you have trouble standing up for yourself because you are afraid the people you love will go away if you do. But you are not a welcome mat. You are not there to happily greet him when he ignores you for days. You are not there for him to wipe his dirty shoes on when he walks through your door after weeks of radio silence. You are not there for him to only speak to you in the darkest hours of the night when you are vulnerable and sad.

I wish you could see what I see. Someone so beautiful and kind and unique that any guy would be lucky to call her his. But guys can be blind. They don’t see what is in front of them while they have it. They leave you to overthink and overanalyze and cry when you see him with another girl. That’s not what you need, and I wish you could see this.

It’s hard for people to see the beauty in them. The things that people hate about you can be the things that other people love. Never change a thing about you because it doesn’t satisfy one person. If this one person can’t accept you, appreciate you, or love who you are, then why do you continually let them in your heart?

Friend, you deserve so much more. You deserve a boy to ask you to dinner and not to bed. You deserve someone who walks you to the door and kisses you goodnight. You don’t want someone who is silent all day, rude all night, and doesn’t respect you—so why do you? Sometimes I think you accept bad love because you are afraid no one will come by and give you any. Well, what I see in you, somebody else does for sure. Someone great sees greatness in you. I wish you wouldn’t accept less.

I hope that by reading this, you will look in the mirror and tell yourself that you deserve better. That you deserve mountains when you’ve been getting hills, and that you deserve oceans when you’ve been getting puddles. Stop settling for less.

Even then, why do you need a boy to make you so happy? I swear, you are much better off waiting for a great guy than dealing with mean ones just to say you have one. I want you to go sit outside and read, or order a coffee, and sit with your friends who love you. Nothing heals a wounded heart better than laughter. Spend more time making friends than trying to find a boyfriend—it’s a lot less stressful.

I’ve always told you to be yourself and the right guy will come along. And I’ll stand by this. Never morph yourself into some fabricated version of you to please someone else. If you aren’t you, how is the right guy supposed to find you? Be yourself, that’s why I love you, and the right guy will love you just the same. You deserve better than what you settle for, so go get something better.