It all began with the nervousness. You were a void of unknown, filled with mysterious surroundings, roommates, classes, and food (this being especially mysterious). I remember our first day like it was yesterday. The long six-hour drive filled with anticipation and the restless night of tossing and turning beforehand. Feeling the humidity envelope me, making me sweat much more than I wished I would. Those dreadful final hugs with tear-filled eyes, kisses that felt like they may be the last, and thank you’s that were much deserved. After all of this came the awkward beginnings of what this tumultuous year would bring for me and for the next four years I have ahead.

You were nothing if at first, lonely. You forced me to miss the familiarity of home, the little things I never knew that I loved, my dad’s constant singing, mother’s cooking, friends’ inside jokes, and even the extremely long light that I hate waiting at to turn to my boyfriend’s house. You had me replaying home on repeat, like a song that holds a distant memory that you are trying to grasp onto. Those first few days were a blur of awkward introductions to people I have never spoken to again nor did I intend to. Freshman year, you turned me into someone desperate for human contact, an experience I had taken for granted while in the comforts of my home.

Sure, you were depressing at first but every sad story has a turn around right? Right. I was a sad and lonely girl for about five minutes. I guess that is how college works though, desperation forces you to find your people. So, thank you for those few days of loneliness because without them I would not be able to appreciate the experience of finally having found my tribe. Whether it be my two best friends, the friends I met through others, my class friends, or the friends I am still meeting, you have shown me that finding your friends is a process and that’s ok. This initial loneliness also helped me to appreciate my family, my boyfriend, and my friends from home. Every moment spent talking to them or hanging out with them is something special that I hold dear to my heart.

Now, what would freshman year be without a few mistakes to find yourself thrown in? I never said college was perfect did I? This is intertwined with finding my tribe. Losing myself and finding myself again was another one of your tricks. Freshman year held nothing back when trying to throw things my way. High school was easy that way, it was easy to find who my people were, college was a different story, at least at first. The freedom to party led me to try and find a group who centered around having fun. Sounds about right, college is for having fun right? This led me to missing my real friends, you know the ones who you can have fun with going out or just chilling in your PJs? I was constantly searching for a balance between a social life and a solid friend group. Well, flash forward to two semesters later and here I am, completely balanced out (friend wise), the whole school-thing is still challenging and probably always will be.

So, freshman year, I have written this letter to you to thank you for all of the curve balls you have thrown my way. You certainly have proven a challenge, but one I would do over again any chance I got. Though you may be a little rough around the edges, the real sweetness is there for the taking, as long as one takes the chance to appreciate it.