Dear Ex-Best Friend,
For the longest time I never saw a single day in my life without you. I saw you in my future for the long-haul: holding my babies, being in my wedding, doing hoodlum things like we always used to do. I guess that all changed this past year and even though I thought I’d never be able to get over it, I finally have.
I mourned the loss of you in my life for months after we stopped speaking to each other. I understand that during this time of life, especially, things change and people change too. The changes that we both experienced just led us on separate paths to where we just weren’t traveling in the same direction anymore. It’s just something we have to deal with in this life.
I will not lie to the world and say that I don’t miss you every single day that passes; one more day that we’re not speaking to each other anymore. A constant reminder of the wedge that’s been placed in the middle of our discombobulated friendship that was placed there and never was removed. I like to lie to myself all of the time and tell both myself and everyone around me that my life is better without you, but there is not a speckle of truth located within those six words.
I miss our FaceTime calls. I miss our walks, weird inside jokes and the way that it seemed like we were the only ones that understood each other’s darkest, innermost parts of our souls. I talk to God about you all the time, and I pray that you’re living a good life. I pray that the happiness you wanted for so long is finally yours, and I pray that despite the loss of our friendship, we may someday find our way back to each other once more.
Despite the hurtful words we threw at each other, there is not a day that goes by that I don’t love you any less than the first day we became friends. When I promised that you were my sister, I meant that. I’ve lost too many family members in my life, and I’ll be damned if I lose you for good, too. Sisters fight, sisters say mean things to each other, but at the end of the day, sisters still love each other the same way they did before anything happened.
Regardless of what happens in the future of our lives, you will always have a special place in my heart. A piece of my heart will forever belong to you no matter where life leads the both of us. That’s just reality.
Sometimes when the end of the road is reached, you can only go either left or right; sometimes you can no longer go straight anymore. When we reached that crossroads, by taking a good, hard look in the mirror at the inside of our own hearts, we both took two different turns that led us on different paths. But I have not a doubt in my mind that one day our roads will come together again but this time we will be much different, stronger, better people for taking our different directions.
I am sorry that we weren’t destined to travel the same paths forever, but please know that your friendship and your life mean nothing short of the most in my everlasting soul. Your imprint is both on my heart and on my mind and because of the friendship you blessed me with, I am forever changed.
I hope that one day we may find each other again. Until then, I wish you the best while you’re traveling your personal journey and know that no matter what comes, I will always be behind the scenes, cheering you on and loving you unconditionally.
Love,
Bri
